Page 83 of Brace and Chase

Looking at him now, at his peaceful expression as he stares down at the table and is clearly seeing something that isn’t there, I’m consciously grateful for him being here for the first time.

Even while we were on the road, benched or not, I didn’t realize how much he was bringing to the team. How unbeatable we could be with him on the ice. All of that’s true, but even if it weren’t, what he’s brought to me is a sense of peace. Of acceptance.

I vow to myself never to forget again, and to tell him all of this at some point. I can’t right now, it’s too fresh, too vulnerable, but he deserves that recognition from me. For the part he’s playing on the team, he’s gotten that recognition from everybody else already, but not from me.

I say nothing about our sleeping arrangements when wefinally stand to clean up the kitchen. For whatever reason, he made it very clear yesterday that he wanted his own space, and I can’t begrudge him that. Not because I feel the same way—I most certainly don’t—but because he has a right to need what he needs.

So when we’re done, and I pull him against my chest and kiss him like I’m saying good night, I don’t expect him to pull me into his room with him. It’s a wordless acknowledgement and I don’t need any more than that.

We have an early game tomorrow, so I can’t take too much time, not like earlier, but I’m desperate to make him feel good. I want his pleasure as much as my own.

I bring him to the brink with my hand, with my lips devouring his, and he does the same for me.

Doing it this way, simple and sticking to what we know, takes away the nerves that I feel at the thought of doingmore.

We’ll have time for that.

We’ll take the time, I know. Because deep inside me, there’s a voice warning me that I’m never going to want to let go.

“Good news is, nothing’s broken,”the doctor says while holding up the X-ray scan against the bright lights of the ceiling.

“I told you that,” I grumble and sit up with a wince. “It is just a bruise.”

I knew it wasn’t anything too serious right after the hit, but everyone demanded I come to the hospital right away.

Sure, the puck I blocked put me on the ice and I lost my breath for a moment there, but it’s not like that hasn’t happened a million times before.

“You’re still going to have to take it easy until you can breathe without any pain.”

What can I say to that? Especially since Laney came to the hospital with me. He shakes the doctor’s hand and then we walk out of there.

Even though I told them not to bother, I see Jules, Bear, Benny, and Charlie sitting in the waiting room.

I can tell Charlie wants to come to me right away and that he holds back.

I hate it.

But I swallow the annoyance down and accept the light pats on the shoulder from all of them.

“You cannot get rid of me that easily,” I tell them, trying to make light of it all because it really wasn’t that serious.

“You’re out for the next two games,” Laney pipes up mercilessly.

“I know,” I tell him and narrow my eyes at him. “The doctorjustsaid so.”

Instead of snapping at me, he rolls his eyes and walks out. It tells me he was more worried than he let on.

And that calms me down.

I manage to reassure them and soon enough, Charlie and I are on our way to his place.

“Do you want to go to your place to take a bath?” he asks quietly.

I feel a sudden flutter of nerves at the thought of him seeing where I’ve been living for years. I don’t know if I have the energy for it tonight, so...

“No. I’ll go tomorrow while you’re at practice.”

“Okay,” he says in a whisper, then he clams up. No talk about how I blocked a puck so Oregon couldn’t tie the game and send us into overtime, no commentary on the game overall. Just silence.

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