Page 51 of Brace and Chase

NINETEEN

SANTA

I watch carefullyas understanding comes into Charlie’s eyes, then wait two seconds for him to step back but he doesn’t.

Keeping my grip on the sides of his face firm but gentle, I tip his chin up just enough for the angle to be perfect, then lean down.

Softness is all I can think about when our lips touch, but then, like gasoline being poured over a lit match, an inferno is born.

I close the space that was left between our bodies and press my chest to his. The feel of the warmth of his body makes me groan into the kiss. Charlie gasps right then and I take it as an invitation. I invade his mouth with my tongue and take my time savoring each smooth glide.

Then, the moment I always like the most when kissing someone, his reaction.

His hands come up to my hips and his lips move against mine. When he flicks his tongue against mine, I press my body even harder against his. When his fingers flex on my sides and he pushes his chest against mine, I startle at the realization that I’m gettinghard.

From kissing a man.

The surprise is enough to bring me out of it, but I don’t stop the kiss abruptly. Instead, I retreat and kiss him gently, then lift my head just slightly.

Looking into his dark eyes, I wonder what’s going on inside his head. Is he as confused as I am? As desperate for more?

“Could be a demi thing,” I murmur without meaning to.

“What?” he asks, looking like someone just scared the crap out of him.

“It’s this thing Bear said,” I explain, still not letting go of his face. “I didn’t know what he was talking about but I researched it last night and I think he meant demisexual.”

“Yeah, I know what demi is. You talked to Bear about this?” He’s frowning, so I do my best to talk carefully around this minefield of a conversation.

“I didn’t tell him you’re the man who kissed me, just that it wasaman,” I explain quickly. “How do you know what demi means?”

Charlie only stares at me for a moment, long enough for his eyes to almost lure me back in, but then he shakes his head.

“Like ten years ago, when he told us he’s gay, my littlebrother Finn got the whole family together and he explained a bunch of terms to us.”

“Huh,” I say dumbly. What else am I supposed to say? It’s a sore subject for me and probably always will be. “So...”

I keep the dumb commentary goingsplendidly.

“Yeah, so,” Charlie says on a sigh, then chuckles shyly and looks away. He clears his throat and finally steps back from my grip. “You kissed me.”

“You kissed me first,” I defend for no reason at all. He looks at me like I’m an idiot. “It’s going to take some time to get used to not hating you, okay?”

“Sure, whatever. Hopefully as short a time as it took you to get used to kissing me.”

“That attitude is not appreciated,” I tell him, secretly grateful that he’s not making me talk about the kiss right now. I need to think about this carefully and not be my usual impulsive self.

He rolls those dark eyes and turns around. “What do you want for dinner?”

Everything inside me lights up at the prospect of getting more of that yummy pasta, but I think about it carefully. What kind of pasta am I in the mood for today?

“Do you know how to make lasagna?” I call out, following him.

“Do I know how to make a lasagna,” he murmurs and scoffs. “Of course I know, but it’s going to take some time, so make us both shakes while I get to work.”

I do as he says, and while the blender is killing my eardrums it hits me.

I feel lighter.

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