Page 82 of Worlds Collide

“That’s good, can you think of any others?”

“Not right now,” he says quietly.

“Okay then, we’ll continue with yours, Wolf.”

I nod and take out my notebook, flipping it open to the final draft of my limit list. Then I take a deep breath and just go for it.

“I don’t want you to ever lie or hide the fact that I’m an addict. I don’t care about the consequences, and I also don’t care about what people think. This is about what I think and what you think. If you hide my addiction then it tells me that you believe it’s shameful and wrong when it’s a disease.”

“Okay,” Hawk agrees immediately, eyes wide so I know I have his full attention.

“Next one is that I want you to go back to being completely honest with me. No tiptoeing around me. Don’t treat me like I’mfragile. If you believe I’m fragile then that’s your issue, but don’t treat me like I am.”

“I don’t think you’re fragile. I think you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met,” he tells me quietly. A small knot forms in the base of my throat but I just swallow hard and move past it.

“I don’t ever want you to speak on my behalf. Like with Theo and Mike’s wedding this year. I didn’t want to go, but you told them I would without consulting me and just expected me to go along—which I did. The fact that I don’t regret going is irrelevant.”

“I get that.”

“You only asked me about CJ staying at the ranch because he insisted. You didn’t think of me at that moment, and I need you to consider me and my needs when it comes to things like that. If you don’t then I’ll get mad, but from now on I won’t just go along with these things, I’ll speak up.”

That time, Hawk only nods.

“Last one is that I don’t want you to make me your first priority because from now on you won’t be mine. You’re my brother and I love you and I want you to always be happy, but it’s not my job to make you happy, and your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on me just like mine shouldn’t be dependent on you. That’s why I’ve decided...” I trail off to take a deep breath. This one is going to be hard. “I’ve decided to start writing by myself again. I won’t make an album by myself—I would never do that—but I might give songs to other artists, I might keep them to myself, I might save them for us, but I can’t stop writing.”

Hawk just stares open mouthed for a long, eternal moment, but then he nods once as he blinks slowly. “Okay,” he draws out the word but at least he’s not whispering anymore. “I just thought of another limit.”

“Let’s hear it.” I nod encouragingly.

“I know where your mind is going, Wolf. You might think I’m stupid—and okay, sometimes I act pretty stupid, but I know you better than anyone, so I know where all of this is going to end. My limit is that we see each other at least once a month.”

I have to look away, damn him. Of course he already knows.

“Once a month,” I agree without argument.

“Another limit is that I don’t ever want to get into another fight like the one before you left or the one yesterday. I know it might not be possible since, like I mentioned, I can act stupid sometimes, and you’re infuriating sometimes too, but I don’t want you to keep quiet anymore. Because I’m sensitive but I’m not fragile, Wolfie. I can take it.”

“Okay.” The word is barely audible because for the first time in I don’t know how long, I didn’t feel rage when he called me Wolfie. “Okay, Birdie,” I try it out and it feels like a fist just let go of my heart.

“Good.” He smiles happily and a tear does fall this time, but it’s so fucking different. Everything might be different now, but in the best way ever.

“Well, damn.” Adrian speaks and it reminds me he’s in the room with us. “If only all my sessions went this well.” He chuckles and I let myself smile, just a little. “Before we wrap this up until we meet again on Friday, Wolf, you remember that one more thing?” he asks with a pointed look.

“Oh, shit. Right, uh—” How the fuck am I supposed to shift the mood now? We’re all going to be depressed after this. “The night Dad died, uh, I don’t know if you remember?—”

“Very little,” Hawk interrupts.

“Yeah, so what happened is... You see, the reason why... Fuck!” I snap at myself. Why can’t I just spit it out?

“You can tell me,” Hawk whispers.

“Dad got mad ’cause you wouldn’t stop screaming. And you wouldn’t stop screaming because I kept tickling you. So he—okay, you know what he did to you even if you don’t remember.”

“I do,” he confirms, his eyebrows low, like he doesn’t understand why I’m bringing all this up.

“It’s all my fault, Birdie.”

“What?” Now he looks completely lost.

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