Page 81 of Worlds Collide

“Wolfie, I’m so sorry.” Hawk speaks through sobs, and he repeats it over and over again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

What a waste of a good therapist’s hour.

In the end we don’t set limits, we don’t talk at all really for the remaining thirty minutes. We just sit apart and cry.

“Hawk, would you be able to come back tomorrow?” Adrian asks eventually. “As you may know, Wolf’s recovery depends on him having a support system to go to once his treatment here is over. It’s imperative that we build or find an environment where he can heal and form better habits once he’s out of here.”

“What do you mean find?” Hawk asks, tears still evident in his eyes. “Like, not living with us anymore?” There’s a desperation in his tone that actually makes me feel sorry for him.

“Yes,” Adrian says without hesitation. “We talked about this last time, and you all decided against it, so you found a way to live apart while still being extremely close. It didn’t work, so this time we have to try something new.”

I still can’t speak, feeling the loss of my friendship with Derek too keenly. It’s definite now. There’s no turning back from what happened here, and I just know I will never get him back. Maybe it’s the way it has to be, the way it should be. It’s just something I will have to get used to.

“I’ll be here tomorrow,” Hawk says quietly, then he stands and after looking at me for a long moment, leaves too.

“You up for staying for a couple more minutes?” Adrian asks me, painfully gentle.

I nod wordlessly.

“Just tell me—put it into words—what made you cry?”

“Derek,” I reply simply, but I realize he’s going to want more from me so I just get on with it. “He’s no longer my friend. He’ll never again be my friend, not mine in any way.”

“Okay,” Adrian whispers. “Do you think, right now, you believe you can work through this with your brother?”

“Of course I believe that,” I snap at him, though not as harshly as I normally would. “He’s my brother. I might be prepared to cut him off if he doesn’t let me live my life, but that doesn’t mean I would everwantto do that.”

“Good,” he says with a nod and a slight smile. “Then tomorrow we’ll work on it with him. We’ll set clear boundaries, and you can tell him what we worked on all week.”

I wince at that. “Do I have to?”

“Yes. He can’t possibly understand you if you don’t tell him. He probably doesn’t even remember, Wolf.”

“I know,” I relent. “Fine. See you tomorrow.”

“Same time,” he calls out as I’m walking out the door.

I find Rich there, clearly trying to disguise the pity he feels for me. Just as well, I guess.

“I got you shitty ice cream,” he says and brings both hands forward to show me the two cups of low-fat, low-sugar, low-happiness ice cream.

“Yay,” I say deadpan, but reach for a cup.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nope,” I tell him without hesitation. “Thanks for the ice cream but I’m just going to go to my room now.”

“Okay.” He nods and walks with me—his room is next to mine after all.

When I throw away the empty cup and lie down in my bed, all I can think is that at least tomorrow can’t be any worse than today.

“Should I say anything about Derek?”Hawk asks as soon as our session begins.

I can only shrug in response, but thankfully Adrian takes over.

“I think that might not be helpful today.” His voice is gentle and firm at the same time, and I do appreciate it. I don’t feel up to dealing with that today. “How about we start with limits? Hawk, why don’t you go first. What are your limits for Wolf?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know...” He trails off with a frown and brings his hand up to bite his thumbnail. “I guess one limit is your drinking. I won’t support you drinking ever again, and I can’t be around you and see you hurting yourself so much.”

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