Page 42 of Worlds Collide

So, by the time my third shift of the week ended on Saturday evening, I knew what was coming.

But it still sucked.

It sucked big hairy balls—not even remotely the good ones I’ve heard about from Sebas over the years.

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Erickson, the chief of surgery, tells me as I sit next to Dr. Yang in her office. To be fair, she does look regretful, and I understand.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” I mumble. I’m doing my best not to let my anger out. I’m not angry at her, or at Dr. Yang. This is a courtesy of course. My boss’s boss shouldn’t have to take time out of her very busy schedule to tell me this, but she has, so I’m gonnashow her the respect she deserves. “Three months?” I ask with a wince.

“Yes. That’s the plan at least. If we can confirm that this issue won’t arise again, then it’s possible we can call you to come back and continue your residency sooner.” She nods like she believes that’s what’s going to happen, but we both know there’s no way for her to know that.

“Or it could be longer,” Dr. Yang pipes up. I do appreciate his candor—I have since I first met him, even if it stings.

“Honestly,” I sigh and let my shoulders drop. “I’m just thankful you’re not firing me for this whole mess.”

“Dr. Sounders, what you have done should never be punished.” The seriousness in Dr. Yang’s voice is new. He’s a little bit of a smartass and only really uses that voice when he’s talking to a new patient or a patient’s family. He never has with me, so I know it’s time to pay attention.

“I agree, and I have to tell you, I wish there was a better way that we could solve this without putting the patients who come to this hospital for care at risk.”

“But this isn’t your fault either, so I’ll just have to let all this die down and then I’ll be back.”

“And then you’ll be back,” Dr. Erickson agrees with a firm nod.

I turn to Dr. Yang and his affable expression is back. “At this rate you’ll be able to become an attending in a decade.”

I laugh despite myself and fall back on the chair. “I’m sorry,” I tell them honestly. “I should’ve done everything anonymously.”

“Maybe,” Dr. Erickson says with a shrug. “But this way we all know you’re not just smart and a good doctor, you’re also a good person, and you’d be surprised how important that is for us when we decide who to hire after they’re done with the training program.”

The tips of my lips lift quickly at that. It’s not a fake smile per se, but I’m definitely not going to be throwing any parties over this.

“Okay then.” I stand and offer each of them a hand to shake, then go to my locker to empty it out.

There are some people clearly waiting for me outside, but I manage to leave mixed in with a big family and only have to run for one block to lose them in the crowds.

I text the Darnell group chat with an update as soon as I arrive home and Diana is calling me about three-point-seven seconds later.

“You know you can sue them?—”

“It’s not their fault.” I stop her before she can get carried away. “I brought this all on myself. And besides, it’s what’s best for the hospital. No need to be angry. It just is what it is.”

“Oh, baby.”

“I promise it’s fine. It’s only three months. I can keep myself busy for that long. There’s always a lot of studying to do.”

“Yeah, if you want to finish general surgery in five years with this much time off, then you do.”

“At least I only have two years after that before the PSQE and PSCE.”

“As much as I would’ve loved for you to go for neuro, fact is I’m glad it won’t take you as long as it took me to become an attending.”

“Well I’m not a working mom so...” I trail off.

“That’s a good point. Anyway, you know you can come home and stay here with us for a while. You can study here the same as you can study in LA.” I can hear the hope in her voice but it’s not the right thing for me.

I haven’t been back to San Francisco for years and I don’t know if I ever will. As much as I enjoyed my college years at Cavendish, and of course spending as much time as possible at Adam’s housegrowing up, there’s still mostly just disappointment in my memories.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I tell her gently. “But you’re coming here for Cristy right?”

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