Page 108 of Worlds Collide

“Fuck, that’s awful.” Not giving a fuck about anything, I unclasp my seatbelt and scoot over to gather him in my arms.

He doesn’t say a single thing on the whole ride, and neither do I. It really puts things in perspective, this dealing with life or death every day. That’s CJ’s life, and I want to share it with him, so yeah...

Looks like this dinner is going to be the time for me to finally talk things through with Derek, because nothing is guaranteed. For anyone. Ever.

Fuck, indeed.

“Areyou sure you want to do this?” I ask CJ for the millionth time. I don’t really want to, but he was crying only hours ago. The tears did magically dry up when he met Junior, and that was love at first sight for both of them, one hundred percent, but that doesn’t mean he’s magically forgotten the shitty day he had at work.

“Yes, Wolf, I’m sure. I took a nap with Junior, I ate a lot, I showered, and then I had some quality time with you.” He waggles his eyebrows though, still looking annoyed at me for asking again.

It might grate just a little bit that he put his time with Junior before his time with me, but I let it go. My dog still prefers me, something I was assured of when he came to me instead of CJ after that nap.

“Okay, okay.” I raise my hands in surrender. “Then let’s do this.” We leave Junior inside the house since I just took him out so he could do his business, then walk to my brother’s house and thankfully, he’s the one who opens the door. He’s happy to see us and leads us to the kitchen.

“Dee said dinner will be ready in just a little, he just went to take a quick shower. What do you guys want to drink?”

“Just water,” CJ says with a soft smile.

“I’ll have a Coke.”

“Okay, you two go out by the patio, I’ll be right there.”

“You sure? We can help,” I offer with a frown. I don’t like feeling like a guest in this house—never have—and acting like one is something I like even less.

“Yes, just go.”

We do and CJ goes straight to the handrail to the right where he can stare out at most of the ranch and the ocean beyond it. I walk up behind him and sneak my arms around his waist, rest my chin on his shoulder.

“You’re the best person I know, CJ.” I don’t know what compels me to say it, but when he turns around and kisses me like his life depends on it I sure don’t complain.

“Oh, no,” Hawk squawks. “My eyes, myeyes.” I laugh into the kiss, remembering how I reacted the exact same way when I saw him making out with Deedee. But I get my composure back by the time I turn to him and give him a “you’ll pay” stare. He just smirks.

“Come on, CJ, sit with me. Wolf, you go help Dee in the kitchen.”

I frown suspiciously at my brother. “Are you being controlling again?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “No, Dee asked me to tell you.”

“Fine,” I sigh and walk in to see Derek pulling out a huge platter from the oven. I think it was just warming up in there, because there’s a side of seared chicken breasts and the other side has brown rice with a mix of vegetables.

“It’s my season diet,” Derek says regretfully.

“Yeah, I know.” I try not to say it with a silentduh, but I’m not sure I manage it.

“Don’t just stand around, get plates and silverware.”

I snap into action and take a deep breath with my back to him once I have everything in front of me on the counter.This is it, it’s time to get my friend back.

“I’ve accepted you’re never going to be my best friend again,” I say quietly with my back still to him. There’s suddenly complete silence in the kitchen though, so I know he’s paying attention. “I understand that it’s the way it has to be. That it makes sense. You’re my brother’s husband first and last.” I do turn around then, and see a pained look in Derek’s eyes. It makes me let out all the air in my lungs and give him a tiny smile. “I know that may not be what you want to hear?—”

“It’s not,” he says gruffly. “You’re my family.”

“Yes. That’s true. We’re family. And families fight.” I have to look down at my hands, at the way I’m twisting my fingers just to have something to do with them. This isn’t a conversation I can have without looking at him though. “Especially families like ours,” I say, trying to bring humor into it. He doesn’t laugh though, which, fair enough. “Birdie is always going to get on my nerves, that’s just the way it is with little brothers, and I’m always going to be an idiotin his eyes, again the way it should be. You’re his husband. You chose him for life?—”

“I chose you too.” He speaks with more force then and only makes me smile. “I chose you as my brother.”

“But you’re going to build your life with Hawk, not with me. You’re supposed to be on his side and?—”

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