Page 103 of Worlds Collide

“Thanks for everything, Rich.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Wolf mumbles. “Talk tomorrow.”

“You kids have fun,” he sing-songs.

I can barely work up a smile at his silliness. I can’t—fuck.

“You can’t fucking leave again, Wolf,” I say with a desperation that’s impossible to hide. He pushes me back but I just hold on tighter. “No. You don’t get to do this, Wolf. I waited for a long fucking time, and I was ready to wait more, but you’re here now and you don’t get to leaveme.”

“CJ,” he whispers clearly distressed. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him like that and it only makes the panic inside me grow.

“Please,” I’m not above begging.

“I’m not leaving. I rented this place because I’m going to live here.” He’s speaking quickly now, and wraps his arms fully around me finally. “It’s barely a mile away from your place, and less than two and a half miles away from the hospital. It’s private and it’s pretty nice so I thought you’d like it well enough to spend some time here, but I’m not leaving again.”

“Promise me,” I whisper the demand.

“I promise, honey.” The new term of endearment unlocks something inside me and I can finally breathe normally again.

“I’m only renting because I know you have more than two years to go in your residency, and I know after that you could go anywhere to do the other part—I forgot what it’s called, but to become an actual pediatrician.”

“The fellowship,” I mumble against his neck.

“Yes, your fellowship. It could be anywhere, and I thought that it doesn’t make any sense to buy when we might be leaving in a couple of years. Because if I ever buy or build a house again I’d like to do that with you. I bet you’d pick a great place or have cool ideas for a house...” He trails off, and it’s only then that I can put a bit of space between us and look up at him.

“You want to do that with me?” I ask in wonder.

“Of course I do.” The impatient snap relaxes me further.

“Sorry for freaking out,” I tell him softly.

“Please,” he scoffs. “You’re probably going to have to deal with me freaking out more often than not. Addiction is forever, CJ, and I’m determined to never relapse again. I go to meetings every day now, and I’m still going to go to therapy, but it’s still hard. I still want to drink every day. I want you beside me for all of those suckythings as much as the cool shit like buying a house or figuring out where we want to live. Eventually, I’d like to think you’ll get enough vacation time to maybe go with me on tour when Birdie and I get our shit together again.” And I think that’d be pretty awesome too.

“Getting to travel together, maybe going back to Italy and relaxing by the lake?” He looks away and yanks at his short strands. “I mean, I thought I was making it clear that that’s what I wanted with you, but if I need to?—”

“You were, it’s just—” I cut myself off to take a deep breath. “It’s been hard, Wolf. Ever since Italy. I know you’ve worked a lot on yourself. And I’d like to think I have too. I did my best to build a full life here without you, but I don’t want that life. Or I do, I don’t know, but what I do know is that I want you to be here so we can keep going on dates, so we can build that life and that house you’re talking abouttogether. But it’s going to take time for me to not expect you to leave. You left me a lot of times, Max.” I try to say that last part as gently as possible.

“I know I did, and I’m sorry, CJ. Please believe me when I tell you I never want to leave you again. Even if I fuck up again, I want you with me all the time.” He walks back and takes hold of my cheeks.

“I do believe you’re sorry, of course I do. But just be patient with me, okay?” I practically beg.

“Only if you’re patient with me too.”

“Sounds like a deal,” I say with a nod, and then my smile—tiny as it may be—is genuine again. “Now, show me around this place and tell me what you’re planning to do with the house at the ranch,” I command.

He chuckles and turns to walk me through the house.

“I’d still like to stay at the ranch sometimes, but like a vacationhouse. I’m not super excited about living in the city, but not mad about it either.”

“How did your brother react when he found out you won’t be living there?”

“We started having conversations about it a while ago, so by now I think he’s okay with it. He understands.” Wolf turns to look at me and gives me a rueful smile when we enter the kitchen. It’s awesome but I’ve never been a huge cook. Then he shows me the garden out back and it’s like a palm-tree oasis. “That’s it for the downstairs,” he says as he leads me back in.

“Good, now forget about the tour and take me to your bedroom.” I waggle my eyebrows at him and he growls softly and pulls me in tight.

“I’m already so hard it hurts,” he says right before slamming his mouth on mine with enough force to have me bending backwards. “Let’s fucking go,” he snaps when he wrenches his mouth away. Then he’s dragging me through the living room, up the stairs, down a hallway, and into a massive bedroom.

I attack him this time, and walk him back to the bed with our mouths battling for control, and when we’re close, I just shove him down. His body bounces twice off the mattress, and I’ve already stripped off my shirt by the time he’s settled. I go right for the button of his pants and yank them down with his briefs in one hard movement.

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