Page 11 of Collisions and Decisions

I feel the heavy breath he releases. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers, like it’s a terrible secret. “I never thought I’d want this, Wyatt. Only one dick for the rest of my life.”

I feel instant elation at his unwilling confession. But I also understand he doesn’t. He’s confused and scared.

I’d be scared too if one day I just didn’t want to play hockey anymore, because what the fuck? One of my core values in life is that I’ll always love hockey, and it’s one of my priorities. So yeah, beingover itone day, so suddenly, would be terrifying.

“That sounds scary, baby. It’s a big change and I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Work, don’t work, whatever. Just date me. Please?” I beg.

“I need to work, though.”

“I don’t know you that well, but I bet there are lots of things you’d be great at. You just have to find one you’d like doing. In the meantime, you don’t have to quit. Nothing has to change right this second, Xander.”

“Except that we’re dating?” He finally leans back, and I see amusement in his bright blue eyes once more.

“Yes, we’re dating. Congratulations to us, we should definitely celebrate. I suggest we do it in bed.”

He laughs, so free and happy that it makes me sigh with contentment. I like seeing him laugh, moan, come, even freak out.

Maybe this won’t work, who knows, but I have a good feeling about it.

FIVE

XANDER

Wyatt leaves the next morning,to go to the rink for some light skating. The Pirates have a game tonight, and according to my... date? Boyfriend? I don’t even know what I should call him.

Anyway, according to what he told me, they’ll skate this morning then go home for naps then go back to the arena for warmups.

He also let me know there’d be tickets for me and Drew waiting at the front.

Speaking of, Drew is supposed to get here in a few minutes, so I spent the last hour cleaning the place up. I’m hoping there won’t be even a trace of sex in the air, because I don’t know if I want to break down what happened last night to my best friend.

How the hell can I explain what I can barely understand?

Drew would over-romanticize the whole thing, because that’s who he is, and I love who he is. But... this all seems too good to be true. And I don’t think killing my inner skeptic is going to do anything good for me.

I became this way after being held for more than a month in a sick camp where my parents dumped me after they saw me kissing another boy. I was only seventeen, and they said, “Nah,we’re done with him.” So of course I’m not a glass-half-full kind of guy.

I barely know Wyatt. I mean, I know some things.

He’s kind, sweet, pretty intuitive for a twenty-year-old. He’s a great hockey player and a monster in bed. And he doesn’t seem to have any problems with being in a relationship with a sex worker. That’s new, but maybe it’s his young, progressive upbringing. Seven years can make a difference in the way parents think after all.

That’s all I know. I don’t know where he grew up, if he has siblings, if he talks to his parents, if his parents are alive, what his favorite food is, if he has a temper, if he’s a good friend...

Though, if he wasn’t a good friend then Bear would have warned me about him, right?

He would. I know Bear better, even if I haven’t hung out with him twice because of Drew. I know he’s overprotective of everyone, and that now includes me. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even tell Drew why he wanted to talk to me when he easily could’ve.

I just don’t know how the hell I could ever trust Wyatt enough to?—

Drew strides into the apartment before I’m ready, before I can hide everything I’m feeling, so of course he drops his backpack and rushes to me.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?”

I burst into tears for no reason at all.

“It’s okay,” he croons next to my ear, as soon as his arms are around me. “Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

I shake my head against his and hate myself for the whine I need to let out. “No, it won’t be.”

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