Page 52 of Single Dad Christmas

He stared at Louisa, his heart squeezing then dropping. She was actually showing concern for Taylor in that moment? That was why he loved her. And he realized then that hedidlove her. Utterly and completely. It made this all the harder. “She’s—going to be. I’m going to make sure of it.” His voice was strangely thick. He cleared his throat. “I have to focus on that.”

Louisa’s throat shifted as she swallowed quickly. “Yeah.” The word was barely audible.

“I’m going to take her home this afternoon. To my parents,” he clarified. “We’ll probably stay there for the rest of the holidays.”

Louisa’s skin paled but she didn’t visibly react.

“I’ve fucked it all up,” he said, dragging a hand through his hair. “Everything. From the minute I left Amy, I’ve made one wrong decision after another. I need to start making rightdecisions.” And then, in a voice he barely recognized, “She’s my kid.”

Louisa’s eyes were suspiciously moist. “And you’re her dad. Her only dad. She needs you now.” She blinked away quickly. “Of course, you have to look after her.”

“I wish—I want?—,”

“It won’t work,” she said quietly. “You need the breathing space to concentrate on Taylor, and I want to keep a low profile. Nothing about us makes sense anymore.”

“That’s not true,” he disputed it immediately. “So much of us makes sense. If it was six months down the track, then it would all be different.”

Her expression was one of skepticism. “Perhaps.” She lifted her shoulders. “But it’s now, and we’re here.” She bit into her lip and then said, in a voice that was clear and unemotional—regal.“I’ll miss you.”

His heart twisted. His gut rolled. He stared at her as though she’d just laid out a plan for his execution, except, hadn’t he done that? Wasn’t he the one who said that he needed to focus on Taylor?

“Listen, Louisa,” he took a step towards her, hating the distance between them, needing to get through to her.

But she shook her head quickly and took a step back. As though the distance was her salvation. “It’s okay,” she promised. “It was never meant to be for keeps, remember? We just forgot that, somewhere along the way.”

But he wanted it to be for keeps. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He just couldn’t see a way to make that happen. He had no way of knowing how long it would take him to reconnect with Taylor, nor to help her through this phase.

“I love you,” he said, swallowing roughly.

She closed her eyes and nodded once. Was that it? What did he expect? A matching declaration of love, while he was puttingan end to this? It didn’t matter. He needed Louisa to know so that when she looked back on this, she understood what his decision was costing him.

“I’ll hand the rest of the campaign over to Stuart,” she said crisply, so he frowned because he wasn’t thinking about the business at all. “He knows most of the details.”

Noah crossed his arms. “You don’t have to quit.”

“We’re almost through anyway; they’ll call me if they need me, but I think going back into your office would just fuel the fire.”

“So, you’ll return to the agency?”

She nodded quickly. “Yes.”

“You have to understand?—,”

“That’s what really sucks, Noah. Idounderstand.” And then, she stepped forward, and forward again, until she was standing right in front of him. “I was borrowing you, but you’ll always be hers, and that’s the way it has to be. It’s how itshouldbe. You’re a great dad.”

“I’ve done everything wrong.”

“You’ve loved her. You’ve kept her safe. You’ve always been guided by wanting her to be happy. Taylor will understand that, one day.” She lifted a hand to his cheek and his whole body sparked in response.

“And what about you, Louisa? What about us?”

Her throat shifted visibly as she swallowed, silence static around them as she searched for words. When she spoke, her voice was soft and husky. “I’ll always remember you—this—as one of the best times of my life. You brought the sun out from behind the clouds for me. That’s what I’ll remember.”

He cursed inwardly. She waswaytoo fair, and kind, and gracious. She was his match, his other half. She was the air he breathed, and he had no idea how he’d go on breathing withouther in his life. But Taylor had made her feelings clear, and he had to prioritise her.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, kissing the top of her forehead. “I would do anything to change this.”

“I know.” She tilted her face up and caught his lips with hers. “It’s okay. It’s just how it has to be.” And she pulled away from him, an uneven smile on her beautiful face, that he didn’t even try to mirror. He didn’t know if he’d ever smile again.

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