Page 125 of Second Chance Savior

This was a bad time to have that chat with my brother. And yet, I couldn’t imagine a better one either. Today was already a shitshow. Why not add to it?

“Little brother,” I said, pushing into a stairwell.

“River, I’ve been trying to reach you. What on earth has been happening in Colorado?”

I summarized things as quickly as I could. The version we were currently telling the public, anyway.

“That’s unbelievable. The whole thing. You finding her, then becoming a fugitive to save her. But it’s also exactly the kind of thing you’d do.” Ross laughed, but he sounded more tired than amused. “Charlotte sent me a message that you were cleared of any charges, and you’re both well. Is that true? You’re both okay?”

I couldn’t imagine he’d heard yet about today’s developments.

We had the list. I knew the names of every one of the traitors taking Stillwater bribes. Soon, I’d learn the secrets of each one of them. I’d make them pay. Especially Agent Rainey.

If I had been faster. If I’d just cracked the encryption a day earlier. A fuckinghour.

I hadn’t answered my brother’s question. “It’s been tough, but yes. Charlie is, um…she’s safe now. I’ve been trying to take care of her.”

I tried to summon my usual irreverence or snark. Anything to keep the desperate yearning out of my voice. But my brother was quiet, just breathing. The pause went way too long. I probably hadn’t succeeded.

“I should go,” I said.

“Wait. Riv, there’s something I need to say. I meant to say it a while ago, but then I thought there was no point, and…”

“Bro, I need you to spit it out. I have things to do.”

“I knew how you felt about Charlotte,” Ross blurted out. “I’ve always known.”

Shit. My eyes closed. “Ross, listen, I?—”

“No, just let me say this. I knew how you felt about her when we were teenagers and you left for the Navy. I knew it when I pursued her. And I just.” He cleared his throat. “I just want to say I’m sorry.”

The word hung there. Had I heard that right?

“You’resorry?” I asked.

“I think I was jealous of you. Charlotte was the one thing you wanted and couldn’t have, so I…I wanted her for myself. I feel like shit saying that.”

Possessiveness flared up in my chest, but I ignored it. “We were kids. We were stupid.”

“Yeah, but I grew up. Charlotte and I were never right for each other. I tried so hard to make us fit as a couple, even when deep down I realized it wouldn’t work. So I owe her an apology as well. It took me marrying the love of my life, and some therapy, to be able to look at myself and really admit the mistakes I’ve made.”

“Wow,” I said. I had nothing else.

“You hate me, don’t you?”

I pushed my forehead against the cold cinderblock of the stairwell. “No. I couldn’t hate you. I thought you would hate me.”

“Do you still have feelings for Charlotte? I guess you must, since you risked everything for her.”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah. I do. I really do. I’m in love with her.”

Another pause.

“Are you okay with that?” I asked. Then corrected myself. “To be honest, I don’t care if you’re okay with that. I want tobe with her. But I’d like to know how awkward it’ll be at Christmas.”

He laughed. “If you and Charlotte wind up together, then I just want you to be happy. Be good to her. And I hope you can forgive me.”

Ross ended the call. All I could do was stare at the phone in my hand.