Page 75 of The One for Forever

I squeeze his hand. “You’ve taken care of me plenty of times. And the rest of our friends too. You’re the guy we can always count on if we need someone. You’re more like your dad than you give yourself credit for.”

“I need to tell you something.” He blinks a few times. “I’m thinking about quitting West Oaks PD.”

“Yeah?” This isn’t a complete shock to me. Cliff gets along great with the other patrol officers, and I know his superiors love him for his dedication. But he’s told me before that he doesn’t feel passionate about it. Doesn’t really feel like he fits there.

“I think what I really want to do is go back to school. I’m interested in social work.” He exhales. “You’re only the second person I’ve told that after Lia. Feels good to say it. I know going back for a new degree will be hard. I wasn’t that great in school the first time around.” His eyes light up. “But I work with social workers all the time. I see how they help people solve problemsin a more direct way. Especially with kids. I think I’d be good at that.”

“I think so too.” Cliff is a people person. Easy to talk to. That’s been a great quality for him on patrol because he gets along well with people in the community. But I can also see how that would translate into social work, and he’ll be able to put that skill to use in a different way. One that he feels more in tune with.

“But I’m terrified to tell my dad. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me.”

“Why would he be?”

“Because I’m quitting. I’m choosing to sit at a desk instead of carrying a gun.”

“Lots of cops work a desk.”

“You know what I mean. He was a Green Beret. His whole career has been about kicking ass.”

I snort a laugh. “And looking hot while doing it?”

“You’re not my best friend anymore.”

I playfully punch his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure I understand what you’re saying. But you should give Rex a chance. That’s all I’m going to say, because I don’t want to dictate your relationship with him. That’s not my place. But I promise, he wants you to be happy.”

“I want that for you too. My dad makes you happy?”

“Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

He sighs. “My dad seemed like he wanted to listen. I give him credit for that. Iwilltalk to him. I just can’t handle it yet. I don’t want to say anything else to him that I can’t take back. This has been a lot.”

“Want a hug?”

“That’s still okay?”

“Don’t be a dumbass.” I open my arms, and he gives me a bear hug. Same one I’ve been getting from Cliff since highschool. It ends in a noogie on the top of my head, because he’s maturedso much.

“I love you,” I say.

“I love you too. We’ve been through a ton together. I’ve thought of you as family for a long time. Stepmom is family, right?” He cringes. “Nah, I’m not ready for that yet. But I’ll get there, okay? Just give me some time.”

The thought of being Cliff’s stepmom isa lot.I’m not ready for that either. But…I could definitely get there. If Rex wants that.

I give Cliff another hug goodbye. I ask if he’ll stay for a while longer to hang out, hoping that he’ll get another chance to talk with Rex, but Cliff insists that should be another day. He takes off. But I’m left feeling lighter. He and Rex still have a bunch of issues to figure out, which is up to them. I can’t micromanage their father-son communications. But I’m hopeful they’ll talk and be better for it.

Then I see the dejected look on Rex’s face outside, and my heart squeezes. I need to give him a sense of what Cliff said. Not betraying my best friend’s confidence, but I have no doubt I can share some of it.

I’m about to head outside when my phone makes a noise on the table. I go to check it. It’s a new text from Sylvie.

We found the chauffeur. I’ve got Pete Diamond’s contact info for you. And get this. He’s in West Oaks.

21

Isit and watch wave after wave crash into shore. At the same time, the things my son said keep repeating in my brain.

What do you have to offer her?

And the rest of it. All the ways I failed as a father. I’ve known that I could do better, that I wasn’t the best at communicating with him. But I had no clue he felt like I wanted him to hide his emotions. To project some fake, idealized image.

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