Page 26 of Cruel Devotion

Ryder’s expression morphed into something like sadness. Again, I’d gotten too close to an issue and froze with my foot on a landmine. They were everywhere, and I had no idea where to step. Did I want to get to the root of the problem? He jerked his head to the side before he looked at me again.

“I’m not disgusted with you. I want… both of you.” With the truth out in the open, it felt like an eternity as we stared at each other. He tapped his brother’s arm, and the beast relaxed. Ryder leaned forward, his face inches from mine.

“Explain. Make it quick. The voices…” he tapped his temple. “They’re so loud,” he whispered. And for the first time since I’d found myself with two monsters for mates, my heart broke for them.I don’t know what made them this way, but I can feel it in my soul: it wasn’t good.

“I just meant this is all new. You might change your mind. What if you grow tired of me?” There’s a rumble from the beast who held me. Tilting my head back, I looked up at my powerful mate. I’d never seen a wolf laugh, and while I knew they didn’t smile like we do, I knew he was. His mouth was open, thecorners pulled back in a predatory grin, sharp teeth bared. When I looked at Ryder, his focus was entirely on his brother. There was something there: love. Seeing his brother smile made him happy, like these moments were far and few in between.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. You’re our mate. Your cunt, your body, your mind—everything about you is the missing piece to the puzzle that is us,” Ryder murmured.

I’d given myself over to my captors.

“Seeing your belly swell with our pups would only make you more beautiful.” Darius this time. He started petting me again, and I hummed.

“You did hear us declare war for you, right?” Ryder chuckled.

“But you didn’t have to,” I whispered, dropping my gaze.

“So you do want to go back to him?” It isn’t a jab this time. He’s teasing me.

“No! Gods, no. I can’t stand his touch.” I shivered at the thought. Wrapping my arms protectively around myself, I leaned into Darius, but Ryder’s fingers snapped out and gripped my chin. I was forced to meet those piercing grays.

“I thought you said he never fucked you?” All hint of teasing was gone, replaced with that low, calm tone.

“He didn’t,” I whispered.

“But he’s touched you?” His eyes flashed.

“I never welcomed him.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Bunny.” Ryder cocked his head to the side, and steel flashed to yellow. This was the most animalistic I’d felt Ryder be. I shouldn’t find it so exciting.

But I do.

“Yes. Every opportunity he got. From the little touches on my hip, to groping me. He found out… about my weakness and used it to make me feel wrong. He said I was sick for the things I liked…” my voice cracked.

“How would he know what’s between your legs, if he’s never been there?” Ryder leaned forward.

“She didn’t lie,” Darius’ words reverberated from behind me.

“No, I didn’t,” I whispered as a tear escaped. Ryder dragged a finger up my cheek, collecting it. Bringing it to his face, he stared at it.

“I don’t like someone else making you cry, but I know that look in your eye.”

“Tell us,” Darius growled, an arm wrapping around my belly as he held me. I gripped it.

“He saw. The first time we met wasn’t because our parents introduced us. They announced my engagement over breakfast. Like we were discussing what to eat. As if we weren’t talking about who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Nothing I said would change it. I did what anyone would do. I went out and spread my legs for anyone who would…” I coughed, trying and failing to cover up what I’d been about to say.

“I needed a release, so I slipped into the bathroom and flipped up my skirt. I touched myself, but couldn’t get there. My life was falling apart and I couldn’t even get off. At that time, I carried my blade with me everywhere I went. Widening my legs, I played with myself as I sliced the flesh that hadn’t healed. It was… euphoric, and I came. As I chased the high, the door swung open. I’d forgotten to lock the door, and that’s how we met. With my skirt up, blood seeping down my thigh, and my fingers knuckle deep.”

“What did he do?” Ryder asked quietly.

I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut. The room disappeared, and I was back in that bathroom.

“He closed the door.”

A hand cupped my cheek, the claws gentle not to prick me.

“Open your eyes.” Obeying, I did as he said.

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