Page 13 of Be A Detective, They Said. It’ll Be Fun, They Said

But quite suddenly, she gagged, making this clicking sound in the back of her throat. “What the fuck is that smell?” she crowed, putting a hand to her mouth.

I smelled it, too. But the real question here was, what the eff was that hand?

Or maybe the question was, who owned that hand?

“Ladies, don’t be afraid. The smell is me.”

As my eyes zoomed in on what was in front of us, I had to tilt my head upward in order to see who was speaking. The half-moon shifted out of the clouds then, shining on the figure—and when it registered, I gasped.

“Yes, yes,” the deep, cultured voice said. “I’m Bigfoot. Blah, blah, bah. Surprise!” He threw up his hands—the size of basketballs, mind you—and shook them before letting out a deep rumble of a laugh. “Now can we get the shock and awe over with? It’s not as though you don’t know what it’s like to be a creature people think is a myth. I’m just like you, though not quite as common as a werewolf or a vampire. We’re fewer and farther between.”

I frowned, unsure why my first question wasn’t at all pertinent to the situation at hand, but I asked it anyway. “How do you know people think we’re a myth? How do you know we’re considered myths at all?”

He bent at the waist to look me in the eye. I think. I couldn’t tell, his eyes were shrouded by hair—so much hair. “Because I can smell you, just like you can smell me.” He pointed at each of us. “Vampire, werewolf, and…” He took a deep whiff of the cold night to smell me. “Forgive me, but I don’t know what you are. An amalgamation of two species. Amiright?”

I didn’t have the chance to answer before Nina—eyes wide and gleaming, fangs displayed—blurted out, “You… You fucking exist…”

He nodded his matted, furry head, standing up straight once more. “I do. I’m just like you…Nina, is it? I suppose some would call me paranormal. I’m not sure where a Bigfoot fits in the scope of species.”

We all took a step back in obvious fear—even Nina—but he held up his hand. “Please don’t cower. I won’t hurt you. I’ve never hurt anyone. Not one soul. Even those who shoot at me. It’s everyone else who wants to hurt me.”

Nina straightened her spine and puffed her chest out. “Ain’t nobody cowerin’, pal. Did you see me cower? Not on your fucking life.”

Marty latched onto her arm and pulled Nina to her side. “Nina!” she whispered. “No need to posture. Stop trying to prove something.” Marty looked up at him, her voice shaky. “She doesn’t mean it. Mr. Bigfoot. She’s just sensitive when she thinks her prowess has been challenged. I swear…”

“Piss off, Marty. I do so mean it. I don’t cower.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she jutted her chin outward to prove her point.

I’d roll my eyes but my heart, as I said, usually sluggish, was racing, slamming so hard in my chest I thought it might burst out like a scene out of Alien. Yet his scent—a mixture of cow manure and skunk—didn’t say enemy. It said sadness, loneliness.

How did I parse my fear and my concern without getting us killed? We were strong, stronger together, but were we strong enough to take on Bigfoot? Bigfoot. Did I even have to worry he’d hurt us?

As I examined that, I decided he wouldn’t.

“I understand,” he explained. “It’s natural to protect how you present yourself to the world. No one knows that better than I.”

I couldn’t believe I was about to consider this, but he really wasn’t much different than us. The only real difference being he wasn’t half human. So there was never any respite from his true origins. He was always big and hairy. We shifted. We had a cloak we could wear to appear like the rest of the world—to fit in, to blend.

Swallowing hard, I tilted my head, my manners never far. “I almost don’t know what to say. This is as surprising as finding out werewolves and vampires, among other things, exist. So I’ll simply introduce myself. I’m Wanda Jefferson, and this is Marty Flaherty and Nina Statleon. We’re here on an investigation. But not one that involves hunting you down.” I held out my hand, almost praying he wouldn’t take it.

But take it, he did, and I was surprised to find his fur was soft, his palm warm when it engulfed my hand. “I’m Hank. Pleasure.”

The silence between us grew, the three of us unsure how to approach the idea that Bigfoot was real or that he was an articulate being with feelings.

Suddenly, Hank spoke, his eyes barely visible from behind all his hair. “I’m assuming you were human once, and that’s what you meant by your surprise at finding out the paranormal existed. Am I correct?”

Marty gave him a small, if not tremulous smile. “Yeah. We weren’t born this way. We were accidentally turned. I guess there are still some things, even after all we’ve seen, that we didn’t believe were real. Our bad.”

His nod was solemn. “I know what you’re thinking, Marty. This is crazy, but it’s not so crazy. I mean, look at you. If people knew you existed, they’d think your existence was just as crazy. I’m just a rarer form of paranormal.”

Nina nodded, though she continued to keep her distance and a sharp eye on him. “Wanda said just that earlier today. So, Hank, sorry we intruded. We were just out here lookin?—”

“For Neerie Lincoln’s phone?” he asked, the charming rumble to his tone making me smile.

Marty gasped, putting a hand over her mouth to silence her shock. “How did you know about Neerie?”

“She was here with those other people who were hunting me. I gotta give it to them. They were on the right track. That’s why I smell like this, by the way. I rolled around in some cow patties to hide my scent because the one named Benson, he didn’t just bring a gun. He brought a dog, too. I love dogs, but I feared he might smell me and then, well, you know what happens next. The Bigfoot enthusiasts are getting harder to stay hidden from. If they build another subdivision in these parts, I’m sunk.”

Nina, relaxing a bit, nodded her understanding. “I feel you, buddy. If one more human asks me if I’ve ever seen the sun, I’m gonna show them the damn sun.”

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