Page 45 of Be A Detective, They Said. It’ll Be Fun, They Said

But Nina didn’t work that way. It was always all or nothing with her. I heard her call to Marty, “Catch!” Right before she hollered, “Hey, you piece of shit! Over here!”

I heard Marty grunt, then screech, “Wanda, duck!”

I fought to get away from this thing that had the strength of a thousand men, scratching and clawing as pices of my clothing began to catch fire from the embers until I broke free and lunged for the far wall of the basement.

Groot screamed, a long, wailing sound that nearly blew my eardrums out as I scrambled to do as Nina instructed, tucking my head to my chest and curling into a ball when I felt hot flames lick at my heels.

When I poked my head up, I saw Marty pop the lid on a tank. Then the can of oxygen arced across the room, Marty launching it at the alien like an NFL quarterback.

It exploded in red-hot flames when it hit his burning head, and Groot collapsed on the floor.

The flames engulfed his body while he screamed in agony, twisting and writhing until he was nothing but a melted green blob, wisps of green smoke swirling above him.

I fell back on my elbows, my throat sore from being manhandled, my ankle throbbing after taking the hit to the floor, and sucked air into my lungs. The acrid stench of burning alien clung to my nose, making me gag.

Why hadn’t I thought of the oxygen tanks? A question for the ages.

Marty flew to my side, pulling me to her, the comforting smell of her perfume wafting to my nose. “Oh, Wanda, we were so worried! Are you okay?”

I struggled to sit all the way up. “How did you find me?”

She chuckled, hugging me to her, swatting at the embers from the fire. “Remember that door to Narnia?”

I coughed, my lungs tight. “Please don’t tell me that’s real, too. Aliens, Bigfoot, what’s next? Elvis at the outlet mall, singing for his supper?”

“Well, it’s not real, but the concept is similar. I guess this…alien, is it? Made a secret passage in the supply closet. So when you were looking at the supplies, you must have moved a jug of ammonia. That’s what opened the door down here. To the basement of the school.”

“You mean, you guys went to the supply closet and risked never getting back to the school for me? My flabbers are all gasted.”

“Shut the fuck up, Wanda, and c’mere, you sassy bitch. Leave it to you to find the biggest motherfucker to ever walk planet Earth. You scared the shit out of us,” she complained, as she pulled me into her embrace, tamping out patches of my clothes with her bare hands. “I hate when you do that.”

I hugged her back. “I’m sorry about what I said to you. I didn’t mean it, I swear. I was just frustrated and worried. I love you. I love you both.”

She tightened her hug while Marty threw her arms around us. “I know that, dipshit. Forget it ever happened.”

Over her shoulder, I spied Sam and the other children. “Sam! We have to unhook him from that machine now!”

I unfurled my aching body from Nina’s clutches and hobbled to my son, gathering him in my arms to hold him close while Nina and Marty removed the needle in his arm, then went to tend to the other children.

Neerie began to stir, her eyes slowly prying themselves open. “Wanda?” she whispered weakly. “How did you get here?”

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. “I don’t know exactly, but let me be the first to tell you, I’m sorry for not believing in your conspiracy theories and thinking you weren’t all there.”

“Alternative thinker,” she whispered hoarsely, fighting to keep her eyes open. “I prefer alternative thinker.”

Throwing my head back, I laughed as Nina untied her. “Oh, Neerie, if you only knew how not so alternative you are.” I hiked Sam against my chest and held out my hand to her. “Now, let’s get you back to Tamlin.”

Marty ran her hand over Sam’s head with a gentle smile, and Nina dropped a kiss on his cheek.

“My big boy, Sammie. Auntie Nina loves you so much,” she whispered hoarsely in his ear. “I’ll make sure you forget all of this. Promise.”

“Wait here,” Marty instructed. “We know the way out. Let us take Neerie and Mrs. Goodfellow. We’ll come back for you.”

Marty and Nina took the children first, still completely out of it, and whisked them out of the basement, returning to help a very weak Neerie and Mrs. Goodfellow.

When they came to get me, Nina asked, “You want me to carry him?”

I shook my head and hugged Sam closer, burying my nose in his hair. “I’m never letting this boy go—not ever again.”

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