Page 23 of Be A Detective, They Said. It’ll Be Fun, They Said

Nina stood up and yanked me with her. “I will, now let’s get this shit moving. We have some bitches to question.”

Yawning, I followed them out of Neerie’s cute place with dread in the pit of my stomach. Once we let the cat out of the bag, there was no putting it back in.

* * *

One antacid, three aspirin, and three hours later, we were in the thick of the meeting with the PTA mothers after talking to a dozen teachers, but we weren’t getting very far. Everyone had a story to tell about Neerie, but no one had any idea where she’d disappeared to, and no one had heard her talk about anything fishy going on at the school.

Clearly, Neerie knew how her conspiracies would be received and she’d kept her cards close to the vest about her “obsession”.

The PTA moms had heard plenty about Neerie’s thoughts on Bigfoot, imposters in government, hoax school shootings, crisis actors, and her fear of 5G, but nothing directly involving the school.

Well, unless you count the time she told Shoshana Reed she’d bet her left arm Principal Mathers had a position in the Illuminati.

And maybe she did? Bigfoot is real. We can’t deny that, now can we?

I stood at the small podium, overlooking the twelve or so mothers who made up the PTA, and fought a scream. Tapping the mic, I interrupted the rapid chatter of their gossip. “Ladies! Please, could we settle down? There’s a missing woman involved here, and that woman has a small child all of your children attend school with. The clock is ticking.” I tapped my wrist and gave them all my best stern nun face.

As I watched all of them scramble to get their seats in the auditorium, their eyes on me, waiting to hear what I had to say, I still had to fight that scream I’d been bottling deep inside, and I didn’t know how to begin.

It dawned on me that these women all looked quite similar. How had I never noticed that before? It was as though one woman bled into the next. They had similar hairstyles, similar fashion sense (pleated-front slacks, pastel T-shirts, and oversized blazers in various shades of taupe; or yoga pants and tiny tees), hoop earrings, and the same winged black eyeliner with a matte red lip.

I looked down at my skirt and heels and wondered if I’d missed the memo.

Nina, not only one of my best friends in the whole world, but also capable of wrangling cats, came to stand beside me and cleared her throat.

“Listen up, Chatty Cathys, we have some serious shit going on. Now, line the hell up and be ready to tell us everything—correction—anything you think might help us find Neerie. And that she’s missing doesn’t turn into a chance for you all to gossip about it. What you hear in this room stays in this room. You will not jeopardize the safety of her kid. Understood? If I hear one of you spoke to anyone—your yoga instructor, your plumber, your damn lover—I will find you, and I’ll damn well make you wish your skin had been peeled off under the hot July sun. Feel me?” Then she flashed her fangs, making every last one of them cringe.

Marty jumped in them, wrenching the mic from Nina’s grip, clearing her throat and smoothing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “What my associate means to say is, this is very serious and your discretion is advised.”

The auditorium went silent then. You could have heard a pin drop before everyone rose and formed a line.

I smiled gratefully at my friends as I stepped off the stage and began questioning the first PTA mom.

I noted Melba the Mystic was the first in line, and I fought a roll of my eyes. I swear, if she told me she’d seen Neerie in a vision, I was going to have a meltdown. Her visions were a scream for party tricks, but not so much when someone’s life was on the line.

Yet, I kept my composure and began to ask the same stupid and what felt like pointless questions I’d asked everyone.

Melba looked at me with hesitant deep brown eyes before she gripped my arm. “Wanda, I know you think I’m a kook, so what I’m about to tell you is something you can take with a grain of salt, but I feel in my gut it means something.”

I stood very still, preparing myself to hear something outrageous, like Neerie was off in the Bermuda Triangle digging up downed planes. “I don’t think you’re a kook, Melba.”

I didn’t. Mostly. A little left of center? Yes. Full of bunk? Maybe. But she was harmless.

She wrinkled her nose and tugged at the length of her chic bob. “You do. Everyone does, but I’m secure enough in my abilities not to care. I have something to share with you, and you can take it or leave it.”

As the other women milled about while Marty and Nina questioned the next two in line, their chatter less frantic now, I decided it couldn’t hurt to hear what Melba had to say.

“Shoot,” I said with a smile while, from the corner of my eye, I noted Nina was questioning Solange. I tried not to worry she’d browbeat the poor woman.

“First, let me say, I wish Neerie no ill will. I’d never want to see her hurt or…whatever, but I’m going to be very honest. I don’t like her. Most of us don’t. She’s rude, pushy and so stinkin’ bossy. But I love little Tamlin, and that’s why I’m telling you what I’m about to tell you. Because even if Neerie’s a horror, her little girl is precious, and she deserves to know where her mother is.”

Gazing at her, I decided honesty was the best route as well. “Then I’ll be honest in return and tell you that I’m not fond of Neerie either. She makes being a part of the PTA difficult, but her sister is desperately worried about her, and for her sake, for Tamlin’s, we agreed to help. So please, anything you can tell me will be appreciated.”

“I saw Neerie. In the woods. I think it was the woods, anyway. I don’t know why she was there, but she sent a text to someone named Earl. She didn’t mean to send it to him. I don’t know who she meant to send it to, but I remember her frustration that she sent it to the wrong person. I felt it. It read, and I’m repeating this verbatim, ‘I have to go to the basement’.”

Blink-blink.

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