Page 27 of The Lonely Hearts Guide

“You look beautiful this way,” Alexander said, resting his weight against his shoulder on the wall. “You’re practically glowing.”

Elliot looked over his shoulder. “I don’t glow, Alexander. I wasn’t given that upgrade.”

Alexander blinked at him. “Wait, that’s a thing? You can have a beau upgraded so his skin glows?”

Elliot sighed. “That was meant to be a joke. Better luck next time, I suppose.” When Alexander snickered, he caught sight of Elliot’s mouth twitching into a quick smile. “I don’t know what to do about this girl.” Elliot’s hand continued rubbing softly at his tummy. “She feels like a girl. I . . . I’ve just been thinking of her as another obstacle to overcome, but now she feels like a girl. Maybe Mrs. Peppercorn can instruct the Creationist to deliver the baby when it’s time, and then we could find a lovely home for her. I don’t think it’s best that I keep her. I don’t know how to raise a child. Especially on my own. It’s months away, so I’m sure you’ll probably be tired of me by then. I apologize for bothering you with this.” His jaw shook, and Alexander slid behind him, wrapping his arms around Elliot’s waist, touching his bump.

Alexander turned them until Elliot was facing the mirror, and their gazes met. “It’s okay if you want to keep her, you know,” Alexander whispered. “It’s okay to want to be her father. Ms. Broussard may have thought she was Jared’s property, but she’s yours, too.” Alexander knew the process of automaton pregnancy. Ms. Broussard talked his ear off about it the last time he took Professor Plum to be serviced. She said they weave the host’s data with DNA sourced from the beau’s husband, creating a perfect mesh of the two. The baby was half Jared, but she was equal parts Elliot. “If you don’t want to keep her, I’ll help you find a way, but if you do, I want you to know that’s okay, too. You don’t have to give her up if you don’t want to.”

Elliot looked over his shoulder. “Is it okay if I don’t know yet?”

“It’s always okay,” Alexander promised, kissing Elliot’s head. “Everything is always okay. If you’re scared or worried, I want you to let me know. Let me be scared and worried with you.” His hand roamed gently up and down Elliot’s bump. “You don’t have to decide anything until you’re ready. Now, are you ready to get a little shuteye?”

Elliot’s sad expression faded, replaced almost instantly with a grin that could only be described as ‘giddy.’ “I’ve never used my charging station while I was still powered on. Master Price made me shut myself off, but Mother says when you charge while conscious, you enter a state of stasis where memories play out like dreams.” He cocked his head to the side, staring Alexander in the eyes with a curious expression. “What does it feel like to dream?”

“Like the whole world belongs to you. Like a movie playing out in front of you.”

“Not a scary movie, I hope. Master Price adored them, but they made me terribly uncomfortable.”

“No, Elliot,” Alexander promised, running his fingers through Elliot’s hair. “Like a good movie. Maybe even the best movie.”

“I believe I would enjoy that quite a bit.”

After crawling into bed, Alexander used the charging port Mrs. Peppercorn left behind, plugging it into the wall, then took a seat at Elliot’s feet. He watched as Elliot reached down and lifted his big toenail, he then inserted the prong into the small USB port. Elliot leaned back against the pillows, then turned on his side, facing the wall. Alexander walked around the bed and slid in behind him, lying on his back.

They were silent for a while until Elliot finally whispered, “Alexander?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

Elliot’s body tensed at the endearment, but before Alexander could scold himself for letting it slip, Elliot said, “Would it be okay if we cuddled? You mentioned cuddles earlier. I’ve never really had one before.” Alexander rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm around Elliot’s waist. “Is this it, then? Are we cuddling?”

“Yeah,” Alexander breathed, his breath tickling Elliot and making him giggle. “Cuddling. Spooning. Whatever you want to call it, that’s what we’re doing.” He buried his face in Elliot’s neck, making the young man purr like a kitten. “Do you enjoy it?”

Elliot’s hand found Alexander’s under the covers and squeezed softly. “I believe I enjoy it very much.”

“Good. I’m really glad to hear that, because I’m a bit of a cuddle whore.”

Elliot looked over his shoulder and shook his head. “No, Alexander. You’re far too beautiful to dirty your mouth with vulgarities.”

Alexander’s cheeks flooded with heat. “You think I’m beautiful?”

Elliot turned to face the wall again, but didn’t let go of Alexander’s hand. “Very much so.”

“Well, the feeling is mutual.” He shifted and kissed Elliot on the cheek. “Get some rest. Tomorrow, I’m going to show you the time of your life.”

He dreamed in shades of pinks and purples. Memory after memory replayed in Elliot’s mind, filling his charging cycle with visions of Alexander Davenport and Sugarplum Island. Not just the memories he already remembered, either. Though there weren’t very many of them, a few forgotten moments played out in Elliot’s mind like little puzzle pieces, stitching his history back together.

Elliot remembered his visit to Sugarplum Island. He remembered walking across the small patch of heaven, sun shining on his cheeks, as he ventured to Twylah’s Sugarplum Treats. Jared loved his cookies, and Elliot’s only task that week was to collect them. When he reached the bakery, he spotted Alexander in front of a display case, placing cookies on the shelves. Elliot became distracted by Alexander Davenport, and he lost all track of time. Eventually, Ms. Twylah emerged from what Elliot assumed was the kitchen in the back, and she placed a kiss on her son’s forehead, looking overjoyed by his presence. They danced across the empty bakery, sharing a familial bond Elliot realized he would never have for himself. At the time, Elliot wanted to bask in their love just a bit longer, and the next thing he knew, the sun had set, and Elliot knew he needed to get back to the dock. Alexander went into the back, and a sinking feeling settled in Elliot’s gut, because he wanted to see more of the man. He was just so terribly fascinating with his seemingly unending smile. He waited a few minutes more before entering and purchasing his cookies. Alexander didn’t reappear while Elliot was inside, and it made Elliot’s heart hurt, though he didn’t know why. Once he eventually made it across the island, he realized he missed his ferry. Professor Plum found him shortly after, nibbling a potentially fatal amount of cookies—for a mouse, at least—as Elliot slept. It was worth it, Elliot thought at the time. The time he spent watching mother and son was worth every bit of hurt and hate Jared was sure to throw his way.

During his sleep cycle, there was another vision that startled Elliot. A mental snapshot of red gloss on white marble. He didn’t know what it meant, but he knew he didn’t like it.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Alexander said from behind him, startling Elliot. Alexander had kept an arm around Elliot all night, holding him as close as humanly possible. Elliot couldn’t think of a time he ever felt more comfortable than he did in Alexander’s bed, and in his arms.

“I like it when you call me that,” Elliot admitted. His hand slipped lower until it was resting on his belly, and because Alexander’s hand was on top of his, Elliot brought him along for the ride. Elliot slowly rubbed his bump like he was trying to kickstart the little life inside him. The life he hadn’t wanted until Alexander told him it was okay to want it.

“Has she kicked yet?”

Elliot shook his head. “Mother said it isn’t likely until the final trimester, whatever that means. I didn’t get much training on pregnancy. At least, I don’t think I did. I don’t have any frosting-filled holes where those memories should be, but who knows.”

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