Page 80 of Between Hate and Desire

“I read in a pregnancy article that women are allowed to have up to twelve ounces of coffee a day without it affecting the baby.”

The hand that’s holding my fork freezes midair, shocked at his words. “What?” I ask as Hunter practically inhales his food. “You’re reading pregnancy articles now?” I can’t hide the amusement in my tone and smile wide at his admission.

He shrugs it off as if it’s no big deal. “Well, I came across one or two. But anyway, it said it was perfectly safe for the baby as long as you limit your intake.”

“Hmm…” I chew on my lower lip. “Sounds like torture, though. Coffee is like a can of Pringles. I can’t stop at one.”

Hunter laughs and continues filling his mouth with forkfuls of food. Even though he’s always been like this, it still makes me chuckle.

Awkward silence lingers between us while I slowly eat my plateful. Memories of last night unfold, and embarrassment seeps in.

I told him I needed to be held. I was so fucking lonely that I needed to feel the warmth of someone else, even if we’re just friends. I was too lost in my head missing Brandon, which usually happens while I’m in bed. In the darkness, my thoughts speak loudly, and nothing stops my emotions from boiling over. Sometimes I’m able to cry myself to sleep, but it wasn’t working because my emotions about the baby took over. Hunter, being as caring as he has been since the accident, checked on me. I’m sure it was the last thing he thought I’d say, and though he probably didn’t want to hold me like that, he did. Once again, I owe him so much.

Being alone and being lonely are two different things, I’ve quickly learned.

Hunter finally looks up from his plate and gazes at me. “I’m sorry about last night. I was so tired when I came in and ended up falling asleep. Good thing you woke up because I didn’t set the alarm,” he admits with a nervous chuckle. It explains his reaction this morning at least. The corners of his mouth turn up into a boyish grin, and I can’t stop looking at him.

“It’s okay,” I say. He doesn’t have anything to apologize for, but I can’t find the right words. Thank you? Sorry I’m such an emotional disaster? Hope I didn’t fart in my sleep?Oh God.

He must notice how awkward I’m being right now because he furrows his brows and studies me. The sex dream replays in my head, and thinking about it has my heart racing and my face flushing.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” he asks, cleaning his plate. “You’re being weird. Your cheeks look all hot.” He probably thinks I’m about to throw up everything he made me, but no worries, I’m just confused as hell about my own body’s reactions. I want to roll my eyes at myself for being so stupid.

Instead, I let out a forced laugh. “I’m fine. Just pregnancy hormones getting to me. That’s all it is.”

At least that’s what I tell myself. Yep.

Hunter shoots me a weary grin and stands, taking his plate to the kitchen before heading down the hallway.

Exhaling a relieved breath, I finish my sausage and eggs, and as I’m walking to the kitchen, he steps out wearing nice slacks and a polo that hugs his body in all the right places. My eyes meet his, and I quickly look away as heat rushes through me. I place my plate in the sink and lean on the counter, trying to get ahold of my emotions.

Hunter steps inside the kitchen, slowly walking past me to grab his to-go mug and fill it with coffee. The smell of it has me shooting daggers at him. Hunter laughs to himself, and I groan.

“You’re scary as fuck without caffeine.” He holds back a grin, but I notice it anyway as he snaps the top on his cup. “This is me walking on thin ice,” he taunts, tiptoeing out of the kitchen. “If you need anything, lemme know.”

“You know I will,” I call out loud enough for him to hear.

His laughter echoes through the apartment before the front door clicks closed, and I let out a deep breath.

What the hell?I was gawking like a love-sick teenager all because of that stupid dream.

The clock on the microwave shows it’s past eight. Though I slept like heaven last night with Hunter curled next to me, I’m still exhausted, so I catch up on more sleep, hoping to stay far away from fantasyland.

Hours pass, and I’m woken when my phone rings. I grab it off the nightstand and Sophie’s name flashes across the screen.

“Hungry?” she asks as soon as I mutter hello and hear the smile in her voice.

“What time is it?” My internal clock is off, and I already know I’m gonna have a hell of a time getting back on schedule when school starts again.

“It’s almost noon. Did you already eat?”

“I haven’t eaten since breakfast.” My eyes fly open, and I can’t believe I slept half the day away.

“I’m coming to pick you up. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” She hangs up without allowing me to say another word.

Shit. I need to get up and make myself presentable. After my feet are on the ground, I look around the room and think about what needs to be done before the baby’s arrival, but it’s all so overwhelming. I throw on a sundress and slip on my sandals. Once I’m in the bathroom, I put my hair in some sort of messy topknot and decide to go with it. Right on time, I hear a knock and rush to the door to open it.

Stepping aside to allow her in, she shakes her head. “Go grab your purse. I’m seriously hangry right now.”

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