Page 73 of Between Hate and Desire

Leaning over to one side, I grab the tests from my pocket and hand them to him.

“Well, I’m 99.99% sure.”

He blinks, trying to read them.

“Two lines means positive…”

“Uh, yeah. I figured that out. I’m just?—”

“Don’t worry. It’s not your responsibility,” I blurt, worried he’s thinking about the worst-case scenario. I didn’t tell him because I expected him to do anything, but more so because of our newfound friendship. “Just because Brandon was your best friend doesn’t mean you now have to take care of me or our baby. So I’ll start looking for another place as soon as I can.” I shift to stand, but Hunter grabs my knees and gently pushes me back down.

“Why the hell would you think that’s what I was thinking or going to say?” His tone is harsh, and my heart beats rapidly, my breath increasing at how hurt he looks. “Have I not proven to you over the last two months that I want you here? That this place is as much mine as it is yours? Have I not shown you that I have your back no matter what?” His volume increases with each question as if he’s upset, which confuses the hell out of me.

“Hunter, I assumed?—”

“I’ve apologized to you over and over for the way I treated you. I know I was a dick, okay? I’ve been trying to make it up to you because I didn’t want either of us to grieve alone.” His tone holds so much sincerity that it makes my heart hurt seeing how regretful he feels about the past.

“Hunter, it’s not that,” I try to reassure him. “But this is more than leaning on each other through a hard time. This is ababy. I don’t even know how to process this, much less expect you to. It’s easy for you to say that you want to be here for me, but what happens when you’re ready to move on with your life? How are you going to bring a girl home when your roommate’s baby cries all night long? Why would you even want that? You’re used to going out all the time. I know you’re going to eventually want that again. You can’t know how this will change everything, but it will. This changeseverything.”

Instead of firing back like I expect him to, he stands and walks off. Hunter’s done nothing wrong, but here I am, pushing him away. I know it’s for the best. He wants to think we can still go on like this as two roommates, but eventually, he’ll want his old life back. And when he does, I’ll be left to pick up the pieces of what’s left of mine.

When he doesn’t return to the living room, I decide to go find him instead. I hate that he thinks I don’t appreciate everything he’s done because I have so much. This is more than feeding me and making sure I get a good night’s sleep. This is a life-changing moment, and he doesn’t have to take responsibility for it. I don’t expect him to.

His bedroom door is half open, so I assume he’s in there. Probably to pack up my shit and give me a head start out the door. Hell, I wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“Hunter, I’m—” I push it open to check if he’s inside, and my jaw drops when I see him standing in only his boxer briefs. His back is ridiculously cut, like the rest of him, and tattoos wrap around his side. Part of me has always wondered what they represent.

He doesn’t turn around at the sound of my voice but continues to dig through his dresser. He grabs sweatpants and a T-shirt and then spins and faces me. “I’m moving my clothes over to the other room, and you should do the same. This room is bigger and will fit a crib and whatever else you’ll need. This is your room now.”

I release a gasp, shocked. “Hunter,” I start, but he cuts me off and closes the space between us. He’s only a couple of inches from me, and I’m pretty sure he can hear the rapid beating of my racing heart.

“Nothing you can say or do will make me want you out of my life, Lennon. You got that? You aren’t leaving. I’m not leaving. This is our home, and we’re going to make it work. I don’t give a fuck about my old lifestyle. Trust me. It wasn’t what you thought anyway, and I have no desire to return to it. You can yell, make your assumptions about me, and call me an asshole all damn day, but I’ll still be here for you. Nothing’s going to change that, so you better get used to it.”

I suck in my lips at his blunt honesty. It’s the last thing I expected from him, but if I’ve learned anything these past several weeks, it’s that Hunter isn’t anything like I thought. He’s more unpredictable and has proven that to me over and over.

“I’m sorry.” I swallow hard. “I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. This has nothing to do with our rocky past, Hunter. It’s ancient history now.”

He nods, keeping his gaze tight on mine. “Good. So you’re staying?”

I can’t help but laugh. “Yes. I’m staying.”

Hunter wraps his large arms around me and kisses the top of my head. “You’re going to get through this, Lennon. You always do.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

HUNTER

After findingout about Lennon’s pregnancy last night, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions—happiness, anger, excitement, and even bitterness. The truth is, I don’t know what or how to feel because I’m in complete shock. Part of me is happy Brandon left a piece of himself behind, but it also breaks my fucking heart that he’ll never know he and Lennon created a little miracle. He would’ve been overjoyed about the news, so damn happy and proud. I have no doubt he would’ve been a great dad too. When I close my eyes, I can almost imagine his exact reaction, and I try to find peace in that, though it’s another reminder that Lennon will always be Brandon’s girl.

My thoughts are all over the place as I get ready for work. I meant every word I said to her. She’s staying, and I’ll help her any way I can during her pregnancy and once the baby arrives. I have no clue what I’m doing, like a new dad wouldn’t, but I’m going to try to prepare the best that I can.

The apartment is dark, and since Lennon is still sleeping, I try my best to keep quiet. As I pour coffee into my to-go mug, I think about the news. Her being pregnant makes so much sense—the mood swings, loss of appetite, nausea. Combined with the stress and sadness of losing Brandon, though, no wonder she didn’t notice. But it explains so much. I’m surprised I didn’t think of the possibility sooner.

Before heading to work, I crack open the door to check on her. She’s sleeping soundly, and she’s snoring lightly. On the bedside table, there’s a stack of her books, and it makes me smile knowing she’s still invested in them. I quietly close the door and leave for the day.

I spend most of the morning going back and forth between the jobsite and the office. We’re finally pouring the foundation for the condos and seeing the footprint of the buildings blows my mind. Sure, we mapped it out, and I’ve studied several schematics, but standing in front of it is almost unbelievable. We have four more months to go on the build and then this project will be over. As long as no disasters happen, I’ll be moved to another one. The hours pass quickly, and as I’m loading shit into my bag, I get a text from Lennon.

Lennon

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