Page 189 of Between Hate and Desire

After I run my ass off and lift the heaviest weights I possibly can, I get in the truck and go home. I feel better. I’m exhausted but not as tense as I was before. Allie still wakes in the middle of the night, but she’s sleeping in longer stretches. We moved her to my room and transformed it into a nursery. The space is perfect, and the walls are so thin, we can still hear her little cries in the middle of the night, though Lennon is determined to keep the baby monitor by the bed. Our apartment has quickly transformed into a home for our little family, and as I park the truck, I smile when I think about it. Before I walk inside, I grab the mail and head up the stairs. Noticing I have a pink slip in my box, I go down to the office and pick up whatever the front desk signed for. The woman hands me a manila envelope, and it looks serious as fuck. I tear it open, and when I walk into the apartment and pull out the paper, I feel my balls in my throat.

Allie is in her bouncer, and I steal a quick kiss from her and blow a few raspberries on her belly. She rewards me with little baby giggles that make me forget about the letter in my hand for a few seconds. Lennon rounds the corner, looking as pretty as ever, but notices my tension. “What’s wrong?”

I read over it a few more times to make sure I’m not imagining what it says, then hand it to her.

Her eyes scan over it, then they widen. “She’s summoning you for a paternity test? Seriously? After all this time?” Her nostrils flare, and I can see the aggravation written all over her face, which I kinda enjoy only because I know she cares.

You’d think after the hospital tour months ago when Lennon spilled the beans about how I couldn’t possibly be the father, Jenna would stay away. She did for a while until she had the baby and realized after I blocked her number she’d have to find new ways to contact me. The crazy woman resorted to emailing me pictures of the baby to my work email. There’s no way to block her there, so I’ve resorted to deleting anything with her name on it.

“Maybe she found out Craig wasn’t the father after all, and she’s backtracking? It’s fucking ridiculous either way,” I say, tempted to wad up the paper and throw it in the trash.

“You have to go,” Lennon tells me. “She’s desperate, and you’ll need to prove to her that you’re not the father. Maybe a paternity test will finally make her leave us alone.”

I let out a heavy sigh, happy that I went to the gym because I might’ve lost it otherwise.

“You’re right. I don’t have any other choice.” I pull Lennon close and hold her against my chest, taking in the sweet smell of her hair and skin.

She bites down on her bottom lip, and when I furrow my brows, she adds, “There’s not a chance it’s yours, right?” She looks up into my eyes, worry written on her face. She’s seen the test results, but still, there’s always that small percentage. “I mean, if you think Craig isn’t the father?”

“She was probably sleeping with more guys than she admitted and has a list of men she’s summoning.” I press my lips against hers and smile. “And if I could have kids, I’d be knocking you up so quick, you’d want to cut off my dick.”

“You’re so romantic.” She snorts and rolls her eyes.

“Listen, don’t worry about this. I’m not going anywhere,” I reassure her.

She nods and holds me close. “I know.”

I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at it. It’s barely past four. “They close at six. I’m going to go right now and get this shit over with.”

“Do you want me to come with you? Maybe give you some positive reinforcement on the way over?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and it causes me to snort.

“I’ve got enough of you in my head to last me a lifetime, Lennon. They’re going to swab my cheek and send me on my merry way. Shouldn’t take too long.”

Her lips gently slide across mine, and it takes everything I have to pull away. Lennon tends to make all the bad in the world disappear.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” I steal another small kiss from her then Allie before heading to the door.

Lennon nods and smiles. “I’ll be waiting for you…” She winks, then slowly licks her bottom lip.

“Damn. You’re a cocktease who plays dirty as hell.” I leave and rush across the parking lot to my truck, hoping there’s no traffic on the way to the testing center. Though I have no reason to worry or stress, I’m nervous as hell about this. I know the baby isn’t mine, but what if by some crazy circumstance, he is? We used protection every single time, but what if it defied all odds? There’s no fucking way. I push the thoughts out of my head when I park and walk inside.

Once I’m at the front counter, I slide my official summons document under the paned glass. While I wait for them to call my name, I find my courage and go back to the front.

“Do you do sperm count tests here as well?” I ask, hoping no one in the lobby heard me. Though I’ve accepted my fate, I’m still curious if anything’s changed since the last time I had it checked.

“We do,” she says and then explains how it works, though I already know. She hands me a cup, and after the first test is done, they send me to another room to take care of business. After I give my sample, the nurse explains the timelines.

“Both test results will be in within two days. We’ll send them by certified mail, or you can come back in the office and we can go over them with you.”

“Nah, mailing it is fine.” I sign a few more documents, and then I’m on my way home. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but I’ll be thrilled to fucking death to put this all to rest once and for all.

Two days pass and as promised, I get the letters in the mail. I had the front office at the apartment call me as soon as they were signed for. I left early because I’m anxious as fuck. After I park, I sit in my truck and try to get my mind right because no matter what happens, this won’t change the way I feel about Lennon. Realizing I’m being a complete pussy about this, I force myself out of the truck, go to the office, and grab the envelope, but I don’t open it. I can’t find the strength to do it, so I text Lennon. Though I know she’s in class and won’t see my text, I still send it.

Hunter

I got the results. Should I wait for you?

But then she responds right away.

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