Page 175 of Between Hate and Desire

“Yes, it is. Now…you need to get some sleep, okay?” She takes the glass and sets it on my nightstand.

“Can you get me a T-shirt?” I ask, pointing at the dresser that’s five feet away, knowing I probably couldn’t do it myself at this moment.

She hands me an old college tee, and I quickly put it on. “Ugh. This used to fit me like a glove before. Now I’m all baby fat.”

Sophie shakes her head and chuckles. “You are not. Be right back. I gotta pee before I leave.”

I climb into bed, and without thinking, I type out a message to Hunter.

Lennon

I hope she can make you happy in a way I never could. She’s the luckiest woman in the world. So pretty and long legs too. I bet her nipples don’t leak milk when she hears a baby cry or pees a little when she sneezes. I know this will change things, but for what it’s worth, I want you to be so, so happy. You deserve it more than anyone I know. Allie and I will move out as soon as I find a new place. You don’t need us invading your life anymore than we have been.

I hit send but then quickly type out a second one.

Lennon

I’m sorry, Hunter. I’m sorry I was too late to see what was right in front of me the entire time.

I put my phone on silent before tossing it on the nightstand. Tipsy Lennon has no filter, and sober Lennon will pay for it. The irony of this whole situation isn’t lost on me. I saw him with another woman for two minutes while he had to see me with his best friend for two years. I don’t know how he did it, honestly. This is painful shit. I might actually understand for the first time why Hunter acted the way he did and why he had to keep me at a distance. He was protecting his heart since he couldn’t control it.

Only allowing myself one night to wallow in my own self-pity, I’ll wake up with a new life plan and stop letting my past hold me back. Alison needs me in the right mindset, and if this pain has taught me anything in the past few hours, it’s that I don’t do well with heartache.

“I was too late,” I mutter when Sophie returns.

“You don’t know that for sure,” she says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I still think you should talk to him when your head is clear.”

I shrug, unable to keep my eyes open. “I already gave him my blessing. It’s over.”

“Whoa, wait. Lennon.” She shakes my shoulder. “What does that mean? What’d you do?”

“I texted him.”

“Oh God. No.” I hear the judgy tone in her voice.

“It’s okay, Soph. I’ll be okay. We’ll be fine,” I tell her as I drift off.

I feel the bed lift slightly, she mutters a few words, but sleep takes me before I can ask her what she said. It doesn’t matter, though. Sleep is all I want right now.

The sound of my bedroom door slamming against the wall startles me awake. My eyes pop open, but darkness surrounds me.

“What the fuck, Lennon?” Hunter roars, and when I look toward him, the hallway light is shining into my room. I have to squint to see him through the haze. “I’ve been texting you for two hours.”

“I fell asleep,” I croak out. “Why’re you here?”

“I live here.” He stalks toward me until he’s next to my bed.

“I meant…” I clear my throat. “Why so early? The sun isn’t even up yet.”

Hunter looks at me, his gaze intense and unreadable. “How drunk are you?”

“Not very. Anymore,” I reply honestly. “Just tired.”

His throat moves as he swallows hard. “Then, do you wanna explain your messages to me?”

My eyes widen at the realization of what I did and not wanting to have this conversation with him right now. Or ever.

“Um…no.” In fact, I want to sink under these covers and never come up for air.

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