Page 140 of Between Hate and Desire

I study it, looking over this morning’s pictures and the rest of the photos she’s posted this summer. “So I guess you know.” I slide the phone back to him. “So what?”

“So what?” Liam’s voice goes louder as his tone deepens.

“It means nothing. It was a favor to her.” I shrug, taking another drink of my water.

“Except it’s not nothing,” Mason chimes in. “We all know how you feel about her even if you don’t want to admit it, and?—”

Slamming down my glass, I narrow my eyes. “I know it’s fucked up, but when the situation arose, I did what I had to do forher. It wasn’t for me. Trust me, it’s killed me every single day.”

“So why didn’t you say anything?” Liam asks.

“Because I knew what you fuckers would say, and I didn’t need to hear it. Brandon was my best friend too, and I have to think of what he would’ve wanted me to do to protect her, and that’s all it was.”

They study me as if they’re waiting for me to crack some secret. I debate whether or not I should tell them that I opened my heart to her, told her how I truly felt and that she ultimately walked away. Regardless of knowing why she did, it doesn’t hurt any less. We act like that moment never happened, and if that’s what we have to do in order to keep things platonic for the sake of the baby and her emotional health, then I’ll suffer through it. The last thing I need is for Liam and Mason to be on my ass about it even more, so I keep it buried away.

“How’d you find out anyway?” I ask.

Mason gives me a side-glance and smirks. “How do you think?”

“Maddie slipped up,” Liam confirms.

I notice the way his throat tightens when he says her name.

“The four of you still going on double non-dates?” I chuckle in amusement. Their whole awkward situation cracks me up.

“No, Little Romeo.” Liam snickers. “We were hanging out, and they happened to show up.”

I snort, knowing that was no coincidence. “Right.”

“Sophie confirmed it after Maddie’s word vomit,” Mason adds, the vein in his forehead about to pop as he talks about her.

These four give me a headache.

Something about the way he acts when Sophie’s around or even when he talks about her makes me wonder if something’s already happened between them. There’s way too much tension in the air when they’re in the same room.

What is it about these Corrigan sisters that keeps us all tied up in knots?

Our food finally arrives, and I hope it’ll change the subject, but after two minutes, Liam continues. “So you bought her a pretty expensive ring.”

“It had to be convincing to her parents,” I say. I haven’t told them about Brandon’s plan to propose or the engagement ring burning a hole in my nightstand. As I promised him, I’m taking that to the grave.

“And you couldn’t do that with a smaller diamond? Damn.”

I glare at Liam, knowing his mind is running with ideas. Setting my burger on my plate, I look him in the eyes. “Why don’t you come out and say whatever you wanna say?”

“Alright.” He takes a quick sip of his beer, then holds my gaze. “I think you two are treading a fine line that’s become too blurred to realize thefriendshipyou two have is inappropriate. If the roles were reversed and Lennon was your girl first, how would that feel knowing your best friend is swooping in?”

My jaw clenches, frustration building inside me as I resist the urge to deck his pretty boy face.

“For starters, if the roles were reversed, it wouldn’t matter because I’d be dead. However, I’d trust my best friend with my life, so whether he was being there for her during a fucking rough time or if he was swooping in because he’d always had feelings for her, it wouldn’t matter. All that would matter is her happiness. If he made her happy, that’s all I’d ever want. Why the fuck do you think I stood on the sidelines this whole goddamn time? If I were the asshole you’re trying to paint me to be, I would’ve stepped in a long time ago when Brandon was still alive. So instead of running your mouth, maybe try to realize that we’ve leaned on each other during this shit time, and even if she only wants me as a friend, that’ll be enough for me. And I don’t need your blessing for that.”

Mason’s tense as a board next to me while Liam’s stance doesn’t waver. I know he’s tough as nails and always has a point to prove, but I’ve had enough of defending what Lennon and I have. Whether it’s a friendship or it becomes more, I shouldn’t have to always be armed.

“You’re right.” Mason breaks the awkward silence with a pat on my shoulder. “She needs someone like you in her life through this, and only you understand what’s happening between you two.”

“Then why all the secrets, man?” Liam finally speaks.

“Because I knew how you’d react. You think I have an ulterior motive in all of this because you know how I’ve always felt about her, but that was never the case. Since the moment Brandon died, I’ve only ever wanted to be a shoulder for her to cry on. I didn’t expect things to escalate the way they did.”

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