Page 114 of Between Hate and Desire

Lennon’s parents lead us to a spot at the park filled with picnic tables and lots of people. As we walk across the green grass, I notice she has her mother’s features but know she gets her fierceness from her dad. Mrs. Corrigan begins introducing me to members of their church, and many are shocked to hear the news of our marriage and pregnancy. We socialize, playing our roles, and Lennon seems to enjoy catching up with people she hasn’t seen in quite some time. Our hands stay interlocked, and I make sure to show affection like a typical newlywed, with soft cheek touches and lingering kisses.

A weight on my chest reminds me I need to distance my heart, not get attached, and remember this is not real life. Iknowthis. But playing this part comes way too naturally, causing tension to course through me. If I’m not careful, Lennon’s going to see right through me.

“You okay?” Lennon asks when we’re finally alone again.

“Absolutely. You?”

She releases a breath, her shoulders relaxing. “Yeah, surprisingly. This is going well, almost too well.”

“You look like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop,” I say, studying her.

“Kind of. Maybe. I don’t know.”

I grab her shoulders, then tilt her chin up to look at me. “Stop thinking that way. Do I need to remind you that stress isn’t good for the baby?” I smirk, then get a smile from her in return. “I was thinking I should join one of these sports activities.”

Lennon’s brows snap up. “You wanna play?”

Shrugging, I say, “Why not? Gotta impress my in-laws and all their friends. And not to mention, my hot, pregnant wife.” I wink.

When she reacts to my words and blushes, I let myself believe that maybe, justmaybeshe feels what I feel. Part of me knows it’s selfish to keep pining for her after what she’s been through while the other part feels like the worst fucking human ever, considering she was my best friend’s girlfriend. Either way, I know it’s not right to get excited about it.

Doesn’t mean my heart listens.

“Trust me, everyone’s plenty impressed. But if you want to, I say go for it. Just don’t get yourself hurt.”

I give her a pointed look as she lowers her eyes down my body.

“On second thought, don’tyouhurt anyone else.” She laughs, and I catch her biting her lower lip, which I love.

“I’m gonna sign up for the rugby game,” I tell her, then grab her hand to take her with me. “Can’t be much different than football.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Yes.”Most definitely. Crazy because I’m in love with her, and she doesn’t even know it.

Once I’ve signed up, we walk back to her parents where we’re introduced to another handful of people.

“Do you have any pictures of the wedding?” one woman asks.

“Oh my gosh! Do you?” Lennon’s mom looks back and forth between us.

“No, it was just the two of us,” she reminds her mother. “But I do have an Instagram with a bunch of pictures if you want to follow for bump updates and stuff.” Lennon easily gets their mind off wedding photos and clicks on her Instagram app to show them all the fake posts.

“You two are seriously so adorable,” the woman squeals. “I’ve known Lennon for most of her life…” She directs her comment toward me with a wide smile. “And I’ve never seen her happier.”

A knife in my gut twists at her words, the ones I wish were true,couldbe true if Lennon and I were together.

“I’m the one who’s never been happier in my entire life. She’s made all my dreams come true,” I tell the woman as I wrap my arm around Lennon’s waist, holding her tighter.

“And now grandbabies?” The woman turns toward Mrs. Corrigan. “You must be so excited.”

“I am! In fact, Lennon…” Her mother turns toward her. “We should do a shopping trip tomorrow before you guys leave. Buy some baby stuff!”

“You don’t have to do that, Mom—” Lennon starts to argue, but her mother cuts her off.

“I want to!” It’s hard not to smile right along with Mrs. Corrigan’s excitement.

“I think it’s a great idea, baby.” I squeeze Lennon’s hip. “You two should have some quality time together anyway.”

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