Page 83 of Between Hate and Desire

Leaning my head back on the couch, I hear the water turn on and remember seeing him naked, which is the absolute last thing I should be thinking about right now. I squeeze my legs together, trying to get a hold of my thoughts, and am so thankful for Sophie and her knowledge of adult toys. She got me this clit vibrator thingy, and it basically has me singing to the heavens. Luckily for me, it’s also waterproof.

A knock on the door pulls me back. When I open it, I find Maddie, who’s still wearing her dance clothes. Past her, Sophie climbs up the stairs, who obviously couldn’t keep up, and it makes me laugh a little.

“There’s my favorite sister,” Sophie says, and Maddie lights up, both of them walking inside and making themselves at home.

“I love being your favorite!” I gloat to purposely fuck with Maddie, who playfully narrows her eyes.

“Tell her,” Maddie demands. “Soph, you know I’ve always been your number one.”

Sophie snickers as they funnel into the living room. “You both are.”

The bathroom door swings open, and Hunter walks out with a towel wrapped around his waist before going to his room. Our eyes meet, and the only thing that pulls me away is Maddie’s gasp.

“Oh. My. Damn.” She releases a breath as if she’s affected and then glares at me. “How are you not aroused by that man?”

I roll my eyes and look at Sophie who, not surprisingly, agrees.

“You two better stop it,” I warn, pointing at them to emphasize my point. “And neither one of you is allowed to gawk at him.”

“Because he’s only yours to drool over?” Maddie taunts, and I’m half-tempted to slap that silly grin off her face.

Sophie, knowing I’m getting annoyed, leads Maddie to the couch. “Don’t start with her. She’s hormonal and may gouge your eyes out.”

“Exactly,” I agree with a fake glare. I sit between them, and they both attack me, rubbing their hands over my belly and trying to feel the baby.

“C’mon, baby, kick!” Maddie orders.

“It’s too soon, you weirdo.” I snicker. “She’s the size of a lime.”

“She?” Sophie squeals.

I look down at my bloated stomach and rub a palm over it. “I think it is, but I don’t know for sure yet. Just feels like a girl.”

“So that’s why you’re doubly hormonal?” Maddie cracks.

I nudge my shoulder with hers and scoff.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Sophie coos, patting one side of my belly. “I’ll be your favorite auntie who will love you no matter what.”

“Hey, no way!” Maddie flicks Sophie’s hand, and soon they’re fighting over my unborn child.

“You two are insane.” I laugh, pushing them both away. “Neither of you will be the favorite if you don’t help me name her!”

We pick up the books off the coffee table and start flipping through them. Hunter walks into the living room and tells us he’s ordering pizza, which only makes my stomach growl in anticipation. Grabbing his bag, he brings it to the kitchen table and pulls out his laptop for a makeshift desk. He’s been working so damn hard lately with his project, which I find admirable considering how much he’s already doing for me.

“How about you make a list for boy names and girl names you like and then you can start narrowing from there?” Maddie suggests.

“That’s a good idea,” Sophie adds. “We’ve got a lot of books to go through.” She glances at the stack I ordered. I might’ve gone a tad overboard. I won’t find out the gender until my August ultrasound appointment, which is exciting, but I won’t care either way. This baby is a miracle.

“If it’s a boy, I’m leaning toward Brandon Jude Locke, Jr,” I say, a smile touching my lips.

“That’s perfect,” Hunter says from the kitchen table, and Sophie and Maddie agree in unison.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and each time it crosses my mind, my heart lurches forward. Though Brandon’s not here, I’ll make sure he continues to live through our memories together. The baby will know how great of a man their daddy was. Before I get too sucked into my head and emotional, I continue.

“So maybe we should look at girl names then? Hell, that cut our job in half.” I hand Sophie a book as thick as a dictionary. I flip open the one in my lap and see an overwhelming number of names listed in alphabetical order. Most I’ve never heard of like Athwenna and Aoife.

“I, at least, want people to be able to say and spell her name correctly,” I say aloud after reading words I don’t even know how to pronounce.

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