Page 58 of Between Hate and Desire

Sophie looks as if she’s given up taming our sister. Hunter studies me, wondering if he should put in his two cents. I know I should get out of the house, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to be with the gang without Brandon.

When Hunter steps forward, he must sense my concern. He takes a seat next to me on the couch and faces my sisters, who are sitting on the coffee table. “What if we go to Home Base? I know a guy who works there who’ll let you in,” he says, turning to Maddie.

She jumps up, then wraps her arms around Hunter. I chuckle at the way he furrows his brows in confusion. “Hells yeah! Let’s do it!” Maddie gives Sophie a high five, who shakes her head at our little sister.

Part of me is shocked Hunter would suggest this since I know how he and his friends love the Coliseum, but maybe he’s not ready to go back there yet either. I’m sure he could see the uncertainty in my eyes, but I’m glad he’s going to be there tonight.

“Great, we’ll meet you guys there at nine?” Sophie suggests, standing and grabbing Maddie. “I need to give this one a swig of NyQuil so she calms the hell down.”

That has Hunter and me laughing. When they’re finally gone, Hunter turns toward me.

“Sure you wanna go out tonight?” He studies my face, concern written all over his. “Because you don’t have to if you’re not ready.”

I nod, lowering my eyes before looking back at him. “Yeah. I was worried about going to the Coliseum, so thanks for suggesting somewhere else. It might be fun to try a new place.”

Hunter pats his hand on my knee and nods before pushing himself up. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. Do you wanna eat something before we leave?”

“Sure, I was thinking of cooking.”

He raises his brows in shock.

“I know how to cook, remember?” I laugh at his facial expression. “Plus, I kinda owe you.”

“Okay, just don’t poison me.” He winks before turning away and walking down the hallway.

It’s nothing glamorous, but I make a pan of baked spaghetti with lots of mozzarella cheese and a side of garlic toast. As soon as Hunter emerges from his shower, all dressed and ready, he compliments how great it smells and dives in.

The anxiety of how this doesn’t feel weird when it should hit me. Hunter and I eating together is our new normal, yet I’m waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. This was Brandon’s and my routine, and without him here, I feel as if I’ve replaced him. Though I know that isn’t the case, I can’t shake the feeling. After dinner, I clean up, then go to my room to dress.

It’s a quarter till nine when Hunter knocks on the door and asks if I’m ready. I can’t decide what to wear since everything reminds me of Brandon. The dresses and shirts I wore during special moments or dates are automatically out. It doesn’t feel right wearing them now.

“Hold on,” I call out, slamming the hangers as I brush through my closet again. I haven’t moved my clothes into my “new” room, so he probably needs to get in here now.

“Lennon, if you changed your mind—” His voice is soft, but when his words stop, I look up and see Hunter in the doorway. “Shit, sorry.” He closes his eyes and spins around. “I thought you’d be dressed by now.”

I look down and realize I’m standing in only my bra and jeans. After hating the last shirt I tried on, I took it off and threw it on the floor.

“Considering I walked in on you naked, you were probably waiting to get even with me,” I tease, though I know he didn’t do it intentionally.

Hunter’s shoulders shake as he laughs off my comment. “Not true. I’m not Rachel,” he says, mentioning that episode ofFriendsthat we joked about last time. “I was checking to see if you had changed your mind. If you don’t wanna go anymore, it’s okay.”

I inhale a deep breath and sigh. “It’s not that. I can’t figure out what to wear. A lot of the things I like remind me of Brandon,” I tell him honestly.

Hunter bows his head and nods, keeping his body turned away from mine. I find it pretty funny and ironic, considering he’s probably seen dozens of naked women in his lifetime.

“What about that one dark blue shirt with the three top buttons and your black jeans?” He says it so casually that I’m shooting him confused looks, though he can’t see me. “I swear I haven’t been creeping in your closet. I remembered how nice they looked on you the last time you wore them.” His words are coming out choppy almost as if he’s nervous to admit that.

“That’s a good combo.” I dig around for the shirt and jeans and tell him I’ll be out in five minutes. Hunter leaves, and I dress, admiring how it looks in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. They’re a little loose on me since I haven’t been eating much these past couple of months.

When I meet him in the living room, I notice he’s dressed in dark wash jeans and a nice gray shirt. Though when I notice how tight the sleeves are on his arms, I burst out laughing. I can’t help but glance at his tattoos when I look at him.

“What?” He shoots me a look.

“Don’t bend or move because I’m pretty sure that shirt will rip to shreds.” I smile, grabbing my purse. I stuff my phone inside, then slide on my shoes.

Hunter looks down at his shirt and flexes his arm. “Damn thing shrank in the wash.”

“I’m sure,” I quip. “You’ve worn tight shirts for as long as I’ve known you.”

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