Page 153 of Between Hate and Desire

Before I lose my cool, I stand and clear the table since we’re finished eating. The apartment is small, and there’s not nearly enough space to disappear like I wish I could. I walk into the kitchen, hoping to find some sort of clarity and gain control of my emotions. She’s pushing my limits, and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. While I don’t want to lose her or my father, it might be inevitable at this point.

“Lennon…” Hunter comes into the kitchen, whispering my name. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” I look at him confused, rinsing the plates in the sink. “This isn’t your fault.”

He brushes a hand through his hair, looking down at his feet before his gaze finally meets mine. “It is. I should’ve told you, but I didn’t wanna freak you out or make you more stressed.”

Considering my mother is at the table and she’s only ten feet away, Hunter stands close to me, his breath whispering against my cheek. This situation is awkward, and I hate that he’s stuck in the middle of it.

“Told me what?” I ask, keeping the water running so she can’t overhear.

“The day Jenna came to my work, she threatened to leak our secret.”

“What?” I whisper-shout. “How’dsheknow?”

“You can find almost anything on the internet, Lennon. She’s a nurse and probably hacked into your medical records to find your family history, due date, and personal info. Hell, I don’t know. Maybe she put two and two together. Probably found your Instagram or even stalked us. I’m speculating here, but regardless, she found out and has to be the anonymous tip.”

I’m seething. My blood boils, and my heart races as I try to think of a hundred ways to get away with murder.Temporary insanity? Could use the hormonal card.

“Thanks for the heads-up,” I deadpan.

Though I understand why he didn’t say anything sooner, it would’ve been nice to get ahead of this and prepare for the possibility instead of being blindsided. Jenna clearly has it out for Hunter and dragged me through the mud to make her point.

She’s not going to let him go that easily.

“Mom, do you want some coffee?” I ask, turning off the water and looking around Hunter with the fakest smile I can muster.

“Yes, I’d love one, but we still need to talk about this, Lennon.” There’s a bite in her tone, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this conversation without snapping.

Too bad I can’t drink right now.

I make her a cup, then bring it over to her. Hunter follows and we sit. My throat swells up, wanting to get this over with as soon as fucking possible.

My mother blows on her coffee, and I wait until she takes a sip before speaking up again. “So, Mom. How are you suggesting Imake it right?”

She smiles over the porcelain brim. “Isn’t it obvious? By getting married. For real.”

My brows rise to my hairline as I look at Hunter, who doesn’t react at all. His thoughts must be all over the place too, but whatever he’s thinking, he’s not making it noticeable to me. Turning my gaze back to my mom, I glare as if she’s lost her mind. She’s gone too far this time.

“That’s not happening,” I tell her flatly so she knows I won’t entertain her ludicrous idea.

She continues as if I hadn’t spoken at all. “It’s easy to cover up. All we have to do is say there was an issue with the paperwork, and it had to be re-filed. A rushed job and missing signature, which explains the date change.” The smile on her lips tells me she’s been through this before and quite proud of it, too.

“It’s another lie,” I hiss. “Not to mention, Hunter and I aren’t dating. This isn’t his baby. He was doing me a favor.” The words come out like venom, and I can feel Hunter’s eyes glued to the side of my head. Saying them aloud is another reminder of how things can’t evolve between us.

“The last thing your father needs is a scandal, Lennon. I don’t condone lying, but in this case, it seems like your only option. If you do this, it fixes everything. It negates the lie, and your father doesn’t have to know you slept in a room with a man who wasn’t your husband—under our roof—which is extremely disrespectful. He doesn’t have to know you live with the same man you aren’t married to.” She pins me with her eyes as if that’ll magically make me obey.

I lock my jaw so I don’t say what’s really going through my mind.

“You’re in deep right now, Lennon, and while I believe in forgiveness, you’ve broken my trust. You don’t want to break your father’s. If he finds out you orchestrated this in front of him, me, and the church members, I’m not sure things will ever be the same, and what you feared the most—losing us and your family—could very much be your reality.”

The air is too thick to breathe. I’m drowning until I look at Hunter, until I realize what my mother is actually suggesting. Forcing him to marry me to appease her is bullshit, and I won’t sit idly by and allow her to play puppet master with my life anymore.

“No,” I bite out, finding my courage. “It’s not happening and is completely out of the question.”

“Lennon…” Hunter says my name so softly, but this isn’t his battle to fight. I got us into this, and I’ll deal with it now—the right way.

“With all due respect, Mother, my answer is no. Ever since I was a child, all you’ve ever done was dictate my life. I followed your strict rules and ridiculous standards, always eager to make you and Dad proud. I had very few close friends and got made fun of all the time for being the preacher’s Goody-Two-shoes daughter. There were times I felt I’d never be good enough when all I ever wanted was to make you two happy.” I throw my arms up and let them smack back down. “What did it do for me in life? Nothing. Because here we are, and you’re looking at me like I’m a huge disappointment. Doing exactly what you want me to do, what youexpectme to do isn’t happening anymore. I love you both so much, but this is my life. Not yours. Not Dad’s. Demanding we get married for the sake of old traditional values isn’t fair to Hunter, and it’s sure as hell not fair to me.”

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