Page 149 of Between Hate and Desire

“I can’t believe they’ve sent so much,” she says with a small pile of clothes in her arms. She’s cleared out the top two drawers of her dresser for the baby.

“Oh my God!” Lennon yells.

“What? What is it?” I panic and stop moving.

She stands as stiff as a board. “Come here. Hurry.”

I rush to her and stand beside her. “Are you okay?”

Lennon grabs my hand and places it on her belly.

“She’s kicking,” Lennon tells me with the sweetest smile on her face.

Right after she says it, I feel a little foot against my palm. My eyes light up. “Wow. That’s amazing.”

I feel it again, even harder this time.

“Keep talking,” she tells me. “I think it’s your voice.”

I drop to my knees so I can be closer to the baby and place both hands on Lennon’s belly. “Hey, little one. Just want to say hello, and we feel you in there. Can’t wait for you to meet your mama. She’s so pretty and nice, and I know you’ve already heard how beautifully she sings.”

The kicking continues, and I look up at Lennon and see tears. I stand face-to-face with her, wanting to take her soft cheeks in my palms and kiss the fuck out of her, but I don’t.

“She likes you,” she says, and I wipe the tears away with my thumbs, knowing she has more on her mind.

“Everything okay?”

“I’m upset Brandon is missing this. The more days that pass, the more he’s turning into a distant memory, and I never want to forget him.”

I nod, understanding but not knowing how to console her. There are days when I wish I could bring him back, so maybe she’d be happy the same way she used to be. Then another part of me wishes I could be the man who makes her smile. Instead, I try to be there for her as much as I can.

Grabbing her hand, I place it over her heart. “He’s here, Lennon. He’ll always be there.”

She nods, and the doorbell rings, pulling us both away. “Hope you’re hungry for that pizza. There’s gonna be so much cheese, you’ll be chewing all night.”

Lennon laughs. “You’re such an ass.”

“Stop cursing in front of the baby.” I go to the door and then give the guy a tip.

I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I take my first bite.

“How was work?” she asks, holding the crust so the toppings don’t slide off.

I let out a huff. “Fine. Saw Jenna today.”

Lennon stops chewing and furrows her brows. “Why?”

“Trust me, not by choice.”

I explain what happened, and I’m pretty sure I can see her pulse throbbing in her neck.

“Doesn’t she know how to take a hint?”

“No,” I say, wanting to change the subject because it’s still touchy. I don’t tell her about the threats she spewed either. The last thing Lennon needs is more stress added to her plate. Whatever Jenna thinks she knows, I’m not going to give in to her hissy fit. “I don’t want her to think she can show up here or anywhere I’m at again. It’s annoying.”

Lennon sighs, closing up. “Yeah.”

We finish eating in silence, and I think about everything that’s happened over the past few months. We’ve continued to eat together every night and catch each other up on our days.She’s more tired than usual after work, so I’ve tried to keep up with the apartment so she doesn’t have to worry about it.

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