Page 97 of Serial Killer Games

“It smells like a dead body in there.” He’s delighted. Christmas has come…exactly on schedule.

“It’s rotten food,” I explain. “Some packaged meat leaked.”

He peers in the tinted rear passenger window and startles when he notices Cat slumped in the back seat.

“Why is there a minor in the back seat?”

Dodi stares at him in confusion. The sleeping kid is the most normal thing in my vehicle. Maybe he thinks he’s busted a human trafficking ring.

“That’s…our daughter.” It’s possibly the most awkward sentence I’ve ever uttered. I smile at him and channel happy family.

“I’m going to take a look in your trunk.”

“No!” Dodi calls out, and if the cop had a tail, he’d wag it.

“I don’t have to consent to that,” I say.

The gears whirl rapidly in the officer’s brain. He tips his head to the smashed taillight. “I’m thinking your car might need to be towed,” he says, standing in a plastic muscle man action figure stance with his arms bulldogged and his feet apart. He’s loving every second of this. He’s in control. He is God. He probably practices this pose in front of the full-lengthmirror of his closet every night, reciting his lines. Naked.License and registration. License andregistration. Licenseand—

“I would have to do an inventory of contents, if that’s the case,” he continues. “Includingwhatever’s in the trunk.” It’s clear this moment of power will be an erotic memory for weeks.

Another patrol car pulls up behind his, “Santa Baby” blasting for a split second before the engine cuts. A man and a woman step out, and when Starsky sees their faces, it’s like someone shoved a pin into a plastic inflatable. He visibly deflates.

“Hiya, Pete,” the woman calls out.

Pete stiffens at the use of his given name. “Officer Stubbs,” he says pointedly. “Where’s the K9?” I can hear him using the letter and number shorthand in his head.

The other two officers exchange looks and Stubbs’s lips twitch. They’re older than Pete, and if Pete is a baby cop, this pair is smoking cigarettes behind the school bleachers. Stubbs beckons Pete, and Pete stiffens. She does it again, crooking her gloved fingers, and Pete dies a little. He glances at me and straightens up, hands on his belt, and swaggers over to them like he was headed that direction anyway.

“You’re not on patrol tonight,” Stubbs says conversationally, voice low in a bid to keep things private, but it’s a silent, holy night in this snow-dampered winter wonderland and I can make out every word. From where she’s sitting, Dodi has her ear craned to them through her open window too.

Baby Cop puffs up. “I don’t stop being an officer of the law at clock-out.”

“No, of course not. You just restlessly patrol the city, guarding the innocents from the lurking danger of busted taillights.”

“Suspected foul play,”Pete hisses.

Stubbs snaps her fingers. “Right! You wanted the dog.” She turns to her partner. “What could that mean, Amir? Drugs? Is someone having awhiteChristmas?”

My stomach drops out. Would Grant keep a baggy of nose candy stashed somewhere in one of his cars? He would. He fucking would—

“Dunno, Stubbs. Maybe…human remains?” Amir experiences an exaggerated lightbulb moment. “A…decapitated head? Wrapped up in Christmas paper?”

I glance at Dodi at the exact moment she glances at me.

“Wearestill waiting for the head to turn up,” Officer Stubbs agrees. She claps her hands. “Let’s call it in. Get the whole Homicide Department out to the scene in the middle of the night.Again.”

Pete is practically vibrating with frustration. “For fuck’s sake, why am I the only one taking what’s clearly a Secret Santa copycat act seriously?”

Dodi’s mouth falls open.

“Whoever was behind that is a psychopath,” Baby Cop continues. “It was apracticemurder. It’s going to be a real body next—”

The reason for Baby Cop’s vigilante patrol duty on Christmas Eve comes out. Stubbs adopts an exaggerated, hard-boiled movie cop voice. “Whoever it is, he’s methodical, disciplined, and worst of all, he’slearning.”

Amir matches her voice. “Perfecting his approach.Tweakingit. And watching us scramble to catch up in time for Christmas morning gift opening.”

Pete raises his voice to talk over them. “It’s the same creep who’s been leaving the sex dolls around town, and his fantasies are escalating!”

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