I ignore her and pluck up my second tube of rice cake, shoving it in my mouth. Hoping that it’ll discourage her from demanding an answer. Instead, she crosses her arms and waits.
Sometimes I hate how stubborn Sohee is. Most think she’s so sweet and bubbly and carefree. But I’ve never met someone more headstrong than Min Sohee. Once she has a goal in mind, nothing will stop her from achieving it. And if she wants something from you, she won’t stop pestering until you give in.
It’s why she’s successful, I’m sure of it.
“Maybe I shouldn’t go to the festival today. What if it just makes things worse after that article?”
“Eonni, you’re not supposed to read those things,” Sohee says, wagging her chopsticks at me.
“Isn’t the polite thing to pretend you didn’t read it either?” I ask through my third rice cake. Savoring it because I only have two more allotted.
I should have known that Sohee wouldn’t pretend, at least between us. Sohee is the kind of girl who faces things head-on. Probably because her sweet face makes everyone want to fawn over her. Didn’t hurt that as the maknae of Helloglow, she was babied by every member and manager. Even our fans.
“Maybe I should stay in the dorm another day,” she says with a pout.
Immediately, I feel guilty. I know she put off moving into her new dorm because she worried about me being alone. I’m the older one, I should be the one taking care of her. But it’s the other way around.
“Nah, I’m good.” I take a small bite of my fourth tteok.
“Are you sure? You’re not faking it, are you?” She jabs her chopsticks at me.
“Of course not.” I use my chopsticks to push hers down. “And be careful, what if you poke my eye out? Hongjoo-eonni will be angry at you for making me wear an eyepatch on live TV.”
“Hongjoo-eonni never gets mad at me,” Sohee says with a confident grin as she plucks up another tteokbokki.
“You know, you’re not the youngest of your new group,” I grumble. “You’re going to have to learn that you won’t always get your way.”
“No, I’m the leader,” Sohee says with a saucy wiggle of her brows. “So, I get unrestrained power!”
“Really?” For a moment, I forget my problems as Sohee’s excitement becomes infectious. “They officially announced?”
Sohee nods. “We filmed the reveal video today with the group! It’s going to go live on the Kastor channel next week.”
“Congratulations, Sohee-yah. You’re going to be great,” I say. And I mean it. I know that Sohee was really worried about the possibility of being chosen as leader; it’s a huge responsibility, but she also secretly wanted it. I could tell.
And she’s perfect for the role. Everyone listens to her. She never gets into fights. And she already has experience from being in Helloglow. Not that anyone asked me, but I would’ve told them to choose Sohee as leader, hands down.
Maybe I missed my calling behind the scenes. Maybe I should’ve become a manager or producer instead of an actress. Then I’d be less in the spotlight. And have less chances for the public to judge every move I make.
But I know if I stop pursuing a celebrity career, Mom will nag me about it for the rest of my life. Which will be severely shortened from being annoyed to death by Mom’s aforementioned nagging.
That’s why I debuted as an actress.
What sucks about it, though, is I kind of like it.
I can even see myself loving it someday. And that scares the ever-living snot out of me.
Because, if I let myself like it and then I lose it, it’ll be so much more painful. And every day, there are people who’d love to see me lose it all.
Part of me feels like Ihaveto succeed if only to stick it to those people. And part of me feels like those people have way more energy and drive than I do and I’ll never overtake them.
Well, today certainly is another test. Who will come out on top?
Honestly, I have no idea.
Sohee indiscriminately shoves like five tteoks into her mouth. A warning almost falls from my lips. She’s about to debut, she’s probably on a diet. But I hold it in. We get criticism from enough places in our lives, she doesn’t need to hear that stuff from me too.
My phone buzzes with a text from my manager, Hongjoo.