APD:Are you sure?
KIM ANA:[shrug]
APD:Do you think Shin Hyeri chose them over you because she is intimidated by you? You were the only other girl who had a triple-digit score in the preliminary rankings.
KIM ANA:Yeah, I guess this is a competition.
APD:So, you think Shin Hyeri is trying to get rid of her competition?
KIM ANA:[shrugs] I dunno. Itisa competition.
APD:Would you have voted for her if you were given the same benefit?
KIM ANA:Sure, she did a really good job.
[pause, sniffle]
APD:Are you okay? Do you need to stop?
KIM ANA:[sniffle] No, I’m okay. It’s just…a lot.…
“Sohee, I’m almost there.” I press the phone between my shoulder and ear as I adjust my grip on the bags of winter jackets and toiletries Sohee left behind. I should have used my earbuds, but I forgot them.
“Thank you, Eonni. I’m so sorry you have to do this. I could’ve just sent a manager to pick it up.”
“No, it’s fine, I’m already here. Buzz me in.” I wrestle with the phone as I type into the building keypad to call Sohee’s apartment and wait for the door to unlock.
I needed to get out of the dorm today, so when Sohee texted about her forgotten items, I offered to deliver them. I don’t want to overthink what happened at the midsummer K-pop festival. Or, worse yet, dwell on the way it felt to have Minseok shielding me with his body, cradling me in his arms. I can still feel his fingers brushing against my cheek to push back my hair.
I’m so distracted I almost slam into a couple of students as they hurry out of the elevators. And I lower myself into an awkward bow, limited by the heavy bags I’m dragging with me.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
The girls stare at me curiously. And I remember too late that people in Korea don’t usually apologize when they bump into each other, but it’s a habit I never got rid of from growing up in the States.
I hope they don’t recognize me. I’m wearing a hat and a face mask, but sometimes I feel like that just makes it way more obvious someone is trying to hide their identity.
They roll their eyes but seem to dismiss the incident as I press the floor for Sohee’s new dorm with the other Kastor members.
The building is nice. New looking. Bright Star really doled out for a pre-debut group. Usually the rookies have to live in the most cramped and basic of apartments. But I suppose Bright Star can afford more luxury now, even for their debuts.
“Eonni,” Sohee calls to me as I get off the elevator. She’s waiting in front of her open door.
I hurry toward her.
“What are you doing? You can’t just stand out here.” I glance around nervously. Even though most residents of these buildings respect the privacy of celebrities, there’s no knowing who’s lurking or what sasaeng fans might have found a way inside.
And Sohee has to be even more cautious as she’s already so widely known.
Thankfully, I don’t spot anyone. I still urge her back into her apartment but stop short when I see the camera behind her.
Oh no, they’re filming their vlogs right now? I immediately change course and stop outside the door, not even stepping into the foyer, which is already cluttered with dozens of shoes.
I’m sure the team won’t use any footage with me in it. Better not mar the pristine image of their precious debut group with my bad reputation.
As if on cue, the crew lowers their cameras. The team leader whispers something to the two cameramen that has them retreating into the apartment.
It’s something I’d expect. Any footage with me is useless. But still, it stings. If it had been another senior celebrity, they’d be ecstatic to have cross-interaction for the vlogs. But I’m tainted goods right now.