Page 17 of Wish Upon a K-Star

But it’s hard to keep friendships when it’s a competition.

Originally, we bonded over being Korean American, staying up late gossiping in Konglish. Ana’s Korean was better than mine since she came to Seoul when she was eight, but my English vocabulary was more advanced. So, we’d teach each other new slang phrases to use.

I grew attached to her quickly the way kids at summer camp do. Making promises to visit each other in the States the next time we were allowed to go, completely ignoring that she was from New York and I was from Los Angeles. To two teenagers, a few thousand miles didn’t matter when friendship was on the line.

I don’t blame her for distancing herself when the first wave of negative comments about me appeared, when it became clear the show was painting me as the villain. Many people already hated me because they thought I got a slot because of my famous older brother, and the producers ofCiProdecided to capitalize on the drama.

And somehow Kim Ana became the favorite tool netizens used to beat at me and my reputation.

I know Ana was just as new as me, was fighting to debut just like me. I know she had nothing to do with the producers and the evil editing of my scenes. But sometimes I wonder why she didn’t do anything to help me.

If she’d just spoken out to defend me at first, maybe it wouldn’t have spiraled so quickly.

No, it’s not worth wondering about what-ifs at this point.

I read the script for the last-minute interview. I hate things being sprung on me. I need time to mentally prepare for my appearances. It’s why I did so badly at unscripted variety shows.

My cue comes as the commercial break ends and I enter the stage, stopping at the host podium. A Helloglow lightstick catches my eye. It’s not that there aren’t others with my old group’s lightstick, but they’re sparse enough that I’ve noticed each and every one. And I know the familiar frowning face. He’s holding his lightstick beside his thin cheek, like he wants me to see him. I recognize his signature short-cropped, almost military haircut, which stands out from the shaggier styles that are more in fashion these days. An anti-fan named Kwak Dongha who used to follow Helloglow around. He’s hated me since myCiProera, and I’m half convinced he’s the one behind the HyeriTopAnti account.

He probably wants me to screw up so he can post about it.

“Hyeri-yah!” Hyejun’s greeting pulls me from my staring contest with Dongha. And I turn just as my big brother folds me into a half hug. I hear a bunch of squeals and giggles from the audience as the other members take their turns, giving me hugs and high fives. At least the AX1S fans still like me, probably because the group all collectively treats me like their sister, so I’m not a threat.

Still my nerves are so high that I stick only to the words on the page. I know I must seem stiff, but thankfully Hyejun and his members do most of the work, joking around and making the audience laugh.

After, I introduce Minseok and Ana, smiling wide at the cameras. Like I have no idea there is a rumor floating around that I bullied Kim Ana. Like I have no reason to feel awkward about introducing her.

It’s the most difficult twenty seconds on camera of the year. But I get through it and let my shoulders fall when the lights dim around me and the center stage lights up.

Minseok walks out in his performance costume. No, he’s not Minseok like this. He’s Moonster. He wears a sparkling silver blazer accented by a red calla lily, a symbolic flower in the drama. He looks good, though I’d never tell him. He doesn’t need me to tell him. He obviously knows it.

As Moonster finishes his verse, Ana’s lifted from below the stage. Her dress is the same sparkling material as Moonster’s blazer.

She looks absolutely stunning, just like she always does. From her shining raven hair framing her heart-shaped face in loose waves, to her full pouting lips, to her long legs that make her the tallest member from Helloglow. I linger at the edge of the stage, searching her costume for something that could be missing.

It’s a futile task. How am I supposed to know what her original costume looked like? I turn back to the audience, searching for Dongha’s angry leering face, but I can’t find him again.

I give up and hurry backstage, looking for Hongjoo. I should tell her Dongha is here. He’s never done anything to get banned from events or appearances. Which is why he scares me so much. He always walks right up to the line, but never crosses it. That doesn’t mean he won’t choose to one day.

I can’t find Hongjoo right away, so I go back to my dressing room. There’s time until I have to be onstage again with the back-to-back performances right now. But when I turn the corner, there’s someone at the door. They have on a dark hoodie so I can’t even see the color of their hair.

For a second, I’m convinced it’s Kwak Dongha. They look tall enough to be him and every idol has heard horror stories of how sasaeng fans can even find a way into your hotel room. As they shift to get a better grip on the handle, I notice something bulging in their pocket. Did they steal something?

“Hello?” I call out.

Instead of replying they take off down the hall. Definitely suspicious.

“Hey!” Instinct and curiosity take over and I hurry after them.

They turn at the end of the hall squeezing around piles of crates. This part of the backstage area is mostly used to store sound and lighting equipment.

They stumble over a heap of heavy coiled wires before righting themselves, but in my heels, I can barely maneuver around the boxes and cords.

I bump into a cart holding the confetti guns for the finale and grab the stacked boxes to keep them from dropping. By the time I look up again, the person, whoever they were, is gone.

They were probably just in the wrong place, I tell myself.Except, why did they run?

Deciding there’s nothing I can do but tell Hongjoo, I start back to my dressing room when I see a flash of color by the black wires.

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