Page 62 of Vicious Spirits

“No,” Junu said. “In this I’ve done a lot of studies. Even love can be a crutch we lean on. Something we use to hide from our real problems. Trust me. I know.”

“What were you hiding from?”

“Everything I was. And everything I couldn’t be.”

“I don’t understand.”

Junu shook his head. “You don’t need to. It’s not important anymore. What’s in the past should not affect our present.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can you just ignore your past?”

“With a lot of whiskey.” With that, Junu left in search of just that.

JUNU KNEW TWOthings from an early age. That his father had certain expectations of him. And that he would never live up to them.

It didn’t matter that he was the youngest of five and the second son. It didn’t matter that he would not inherit the responsibilities of being the head of the family. He was too weak. Too mediocre. Too obsessed with flighty things like his art. He was not good enough in his father’s eyes. And in the family, his father’s opinion was law.

So Junu retreated behind his mother and his nunas. The women in the family fawned over him. Perhaps because he’d been sickly as a child and left in the care of his three nunas—older sisters who catered to his every need.

When he got older and he was bigger and stronger than his nunas, he would often accompany them to the market. Carry their shopping. Be an arm for them to hold on to. It wouldn’t do for a daughter of a well-off household to be wandering the market alone.

But soon it was apparent that his father disapproved of how much time he spent with the girls. And sometimes that disapproval would culminate in a quick slap.

There were only a handful of times that Junu earned a real beating, and he always sought never to commit those infractionsagain. But for Junu, his own personal punishments weren’t the worst. It was when his nunas were punished that it hurt the most. Sometimes it would be because they kept Junu out too long and he ignored his studies. So Junu’s father would have their mother use a switch on the back of their legs. Or it would be when he heard them laughing too loudly with Junu in the courtyard. And they’d be denied dinner that night. Junu was left unscathed, but alone in his room, he’d hear the sounds of his nunas’ cries as they endured their punishment. And every time they knew it was his fault. The one and only time his hyeong had spoken up on Junu’s behalf, he couldn’t sit easily for a day. Hyeong never stood up for Junu again. And Junu could see that it was a tactic of his father’s. To drive a wedge between Junu and anyone who might defend him. Anyone that his father saw as coddling Junu. Until Junu felt completely isolated and alone.

This was the way Junu lived for the first nineteen years of his life. This was what drove him into the arms of the first girl who smiled at him. The first girl who said kind words to him. He was too enamored by her beautiful face and sweet words to realize that he was joining himself with a monster until it was too late.

29

DUBU SHOT OUTof the back room to greet Somin and Jihoon when they returned to the apartment. She barked happily when she saw Somin, before her mood suddenly turned. The small dog started growling, barking so much that her body jumped. But it wasn’t directed at Somin; it was aimed at Jihoon.

Surprised, Somin scooped the dog into her arms. “Dubu, what’s gotten into you? Jihoon hasn’t been gone that long.”

“Maybe I still smell like the road,” Jihoon said. “I’ll go wash up.”

“Okay,” Somin said. “I’ll make lunch. You hungry?”

“Sure,” Jihoon replied, and Somin watched as he paused a second in front of the first door before turning and trying the handle across the way. He looked disoriented and dazed. Like the travel had gotten to him.

Somin made a mental note to get those vitamin shots at the grocery store. The last thing they needed was for him to get sick, too, because he was so worried about Miyoung.

“Don’t give him such a hard time,” Somin said to the small dog, whose body still vibrated in her arms. “He’s been through a lot. He’ll give you more attention later.”

She moved into the kitchen to give Dubu breakfast and found a note from her mother.

If you get home when it’s still breakfast time, there’s toast in the fridge. Hope you were studying and not partying, my daughter.

Somin almost laughed. She would definitely not count last night as a party. Even if she thought it skirted the line of being a mom-approved activity. Good thing her mom rarely asked questions as long as Somin’s grades were good and she didn’t have any open wounds.

As she set the dog bowl on the floor, the doorbell rang. She wondered who it could be and considered ignoring it. But the bell rang again and again, so persistently that Somin gave in and answered. And when she swung open the door, she immediately regretted it.

“Jihoon’s not here,” she said, glaring at Jihoon’s father.

“I know he is. I saw you walk up here together. So go get that boy before I cause a scene.”

“This is private property. I could call the police.”

“Somin,” Jihoon said from the hallway. “I can handle this.”

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