Page 88 of Bulletproof Love

The blood is still under my fingernails despite scrubbing them raw in the bathroom. I don’t know what the bullet hit. How deep. If it tore through organs or severed nerves. There was so much blood. God, I can still smell its coppery tang in the back of my nostrils. And he’s already been shot once in the past year. It should have been me. I deserved it for thinking I could take Alexander alone.

Alexander’s words echo in my mind.Always needing to control everything, everyone. How’s that working out for you?

Not fucking well at all.

Was that what I was doing? Trying to control the situation? I don’t know anymore. I wanted to keep them safe, and look where that got me. At least Alexander’s dead… but I know he’s only a small part of this web. His uncle is who we need.

“Falin!” I freeze to find Blake rushing through the emergency room doors with Damon and Leon close behind. I’ve never felt relief this strong before.

I run to meet them, tears springing to my eyes. They wrap me in a hug, all of us in one giant heap of arms and murmured words. “You’re okay,” I repeat. “We’re okay.”

When we pull apart, I take in Blake’s tear-stained face. “It was?—”

Damon pulls her against his chest. “It was bad.”

A weight sinks in my gut. “Tell me everything.”

“We will,” Leon says. “But how is he? We raced over here as fast as we could. Cops everywhere, we couldn’t move. Fuck. We had to get out of there.”

Shit. If cops are involved…

“He’s in surgery, that’s all I know. The bullet hit his abdomen. It all happened so fast.”

Saying the words out loud, seeing their panic-stricken faces, makes this all too real. Blake sucks in a breath. “I’m going to see if I can get some more information. Maybe if I use my big med school words, someone will give me something.”

I nod, watching her back as she retreats toward the check in desk. “Ray?”

Damon’s face twists, like hearing the name causes him physical pain. “They got there first. We didn’t know.”

Oh God. All those guys… dead. They were there for us through all of this nightmare. They had families and lives. I close my eyes as a wave of grief washes over me. It quickly changes to anger.

Blake hurries back over. “They said we can see him. I had to argue with a nurse, and a doctor,” she smiles, “but I wasn’t taking no for an answer.”

I follow Blake down the sterile hallway, trying not to focus on the sharp antiseptic smell or the way my hands won’t stop shaking. The others trail behind us, their footsteps echoing against the linoleum floor. I need to see his face. To know he’ll be okay.

Jasper’s recovery room is dimly lit with different machines beeping steadily beside his bed. Seeing him lying there, pale and still… my chest cracks in two.

Blake explains what little information she was able to get. “The bullet tore through his abdomen, causing internal bleeding.” It was four hours of surgery. Four hours of me pacing the waiting room, convinced I’d lose him before I got the chance to tell him how I feel.

She comes to stand by my side, squeezing my hand. “The surgeon said everything went well. They repaired the damage. He’ll be in pain for a while, but there shouldn’t be any lasting effects. I’ll go see what else I can find out.” Her hug envelops me before she heads back out into the busy hallway.

I sink into a crouch beside his bed and carefully take hold of his hand. His skin is warm despite how pale he looks, his pulse a steady drum beneath my fingers. Tubes and wires snake from his body to all of those machines. For a brief moment, I remember how my mother looked as she lay in her hospital bed, right before she died. I was so young, but the steady beeping brings me back. It’s both comforting and terrifying. Those beeps mean he’s alive, but seeing him like this, so vulnerable. I wish I could kill Alexander all over again.

Leon and Damon hover near the doorway, their faces grim. I know they’re thinking about Ray and his men, about the cost of tonight’s mission, about Jasper barely escaping with his life. The weight of it all is heavy in the room.

“Hey,” Damon says softly. “We never found out exactly what happened.”

I stroke my thumb across Jasper’s knuckles, drawing strength from his steady presence even in unconsciousness. Taking a deep breath, I turn to face them.

“Alexander is dead,” I whisper. “I shot him and he fell off the roof.”

They stare at me, stunned. Finally Damon lets out a short laugh, the sound startling in the quiet room. “You killed Orlov?You?”

Okay, now I’m getting pissed. I cross the room so they can hear me clearly. “Yes, me. Why is that such a surprise?”

Damon’s jaw hangs slack, his eyes wide as he looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. Leon cracks the slightest smile, and squeezes my shoulder gently. “Wouldn’t expect anything less from our girl.”

Our girl.

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