Page 26 of Bulletproof Love

My stomach does this weird flip thing at the thought of Falin beside me all night in some fancy dress, which immediately pisses me off because I need to keep any feelings I have for her at bay. She’s a complication I can’t get involved in, especially when I’m trying to keep my head straight. But there’s also this traitorous part of me that wants her close. That wants to listen to her voice in the back of my head that tells me to be good, to get my shit together.

“She’ll just slow me down,” I say, but it comes out weaker than I mean it to. “You really want to put her in the middle of this?”

“She’s already in the middle of it,” Damon says. “And the invitation is for Brennan and his ‘wife.’ It’ll be suspicious if you show up alone.”

“I don’t like this, but I can’t see another option.” Leon turns to me. “I’ll be in your ear the entire time. And I can park nearby, like always.”

“I already told you I want to go. It’s bringing Falin that worries me.” I rub my palms together trying to get some warmth back into my tingling fingers. Leon must notice, since he asks if I want to go back inside. “I’m fine. Let’s finish figuring this shit out.”

By the time we make the bare bones of a plan and head back to the apartment, my extremities ache from the cold. For the first time since I got shot, I finally feel useful, and that fills me with hope I thought I’d lost all together.

Leon and I head into the room we share to get cleaned up and changed. “We have a few days to prepare,” he says. “We can’t afford for this to go south. They find out you’re not Brennan, and I don’t know what will happen.”

“Lucky for us, we have someone who knew Brennan well,” I say. “I’ll just find out as much as I can about him from Blake. I know it’ll be hard for her to talk about him, but maybe it’ll make her feel needed.”

He eyes me with an all knowing stare. “I’m glad you’re doing this. I didn’t want to tell D, but I think this is what you need. Plus, we both know he’s shit at parties.”

“Can’t make small talk to save his life,” I add. My chest loosens as we laugh.

“Don’t worry about Falin. She’s tough. I think she’ll be an asset.” He grabs some clean clothes from the closet and heads to the door, ready to shower for the day. “If you two can keep from fighting for one night.”

“It’s not me,” I say, putting my hands up in surrender. “I don’t know what I do to irk her.”

That’s a lie. I love to fuck with her. It’s what I live for lately.

He smirks. “You’re so full of shit, mate.”

I shrug. “I thought she liked me.”

“You two need to fuck already. I’m tired of the tension around here.”

He says that as if I’m the only one with the power to make that decision. “I thought you were against us being together? If I remember correctly, you said and I quote, ‘If you and Falin start fucking, I swear to Christ I’m going to hurl myself off this building.’ And something else about being the only one alone. Speaking of, why haven’t you dated? Or at least found a hook-up?”

The teasing light in his eyes vanishes and his smile fades. “That’s the last thing on my mind.”

I instantly feel like shit for bringing it up. I guess I didn’t realize what a sore subject it is for him. “Sorry, man. Not my business anyway.”

He looks away toying with the clothes in his hands before silently heading out the door and down the hallway to the bathroom.

Now that I’m alone again, my mind won’t stop bringing up flashes of the pills. I close my eyes and they’re beneath my lids. I open them and they dart around the room, searching. I know I don’t have anything, but my brain won’t accept that as an answer. How the hell did I let it get this bad? It’s no wonder the guys won’t trust me with anything, I’m a fucking mess.

I pull out my phone and cycle through the same three apps multiple times, hoping something will pull me in and grab hold of my attention. Anything that my mind can latch onto to dull the craving. Then Falin’s laugh travels through the plaster walls. It’s a sound I could listen to all day, every day. Her husky voice starts rough-edged and crackling, but as the laugher takes hold of her entire body, it grows lighter. Pure unfiltered joy. Wild, like lightning I could catch and keep it in a jar.

I spot my reflection in the darkened screen and notice I’ve cracked a smile—slight, but it’s there. She’s pulled it from me with nothing more than the sound of her laugh through the wall.

Tossing my phone on my bed, I follow her voice to Blake and Damon’s room. No idea what I’ll do when I reach it, but that doesn’t matter. I just need to be near her.

Once I’m outside the open bedroom door, I stand to the side and listen in on their conversation.

“I can’t believe that happened,” Blake says, laughter playing at the edge of her voice.

“Oh, I’d never lie about something that humiliating. Food poisoning is a bitch, but hey, at least I have a funny story now.” The bed creaks as one of them adjusts their position. “But trust me, as horrible as almost crapping myself during a date was, there’s been others that have bruised me even worse.”

She almost shit herself… Now that’s fucking funny. Too bad I missed the whole story. I crane my neck, making sure I don’t miss a word from her lips.

“Like? Come on, you have to tell me now that you brought it up. Don’t be a tease.” Blake’s playful tone has the corner of my lip pull up in a smirk. She’s got one thing right… Falin loves to tease.

After a few seconds of quiet, Falin finally answers. “Another time. I should go get us something to eat so you can take your next dose of meds.”

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