Page 16 of Bulletproof Love

CHAPTERSIX

JASPER

I suckin a cool breath of air as my feet pound the cracked pavement. That should help lower my body temperature a degree or two. Goddamn. I was two seconds away from initiating a whole house orgy right there in the living room.

Memories from that night run through my mind, like they have every day since. The haunted show and the party after. Falin and that prick scare actor all over each other, until I took care of him. She’ll never know, of course. I crave the way relief washed over me the moment he passed out, his eyes rolling back in his head and his body slumped against the cold dirt.

Then I had her to myself.

Her lips were fucking lethal. I’d trade my last breath for another moment lost in her kiss. The way she molded against my body, the needy moans that spilled from her. Hell, I’d never been so gone for a woman before. Every ounce of suffocating pain evaporated while she was in my arms. I could breathe, could imagine a happy ending to my dumpster fire of a life.

Until the moment that absolutely wrecked me.

We crash onto the couch side by side, my body hanging off the edge. I feel so fucking incredible. And not just from the pills and the booze. It’s Falin. The whirlwind who barreled into our lives and became the only woman I can think about. I’m finally going to feel her warm skin against mine. Finally going to sink into her. Claim her. I’ve wanted her since I laid eyes on her. Even more since she opened her smart mouth.

She scrambles closer, lifting her dress and grinding against my hard cock. “Fuckkk,” I groan. Her fake vampire teeth graze against my neck as she nibbles and sucks. I need to slow down or I’m going to come in my pants.

I roll, flipping her onto her back, and make my way down her perfect body. I’ll admit, I’m wobbly. This isn’t my best, but I won’t let this opportunity go.

“This pussy is mine,” I say, hiking her skirt up and gliding my palm over her black fishnets.

“Wait—” She pushes up onto her elbows and gazes at me with a look of pure, unfiltered emotion. Her glassy eyes bore into mine and I swear her lip trembles.

“You okay?” I ask. Please God, let her say yes.

“I just need to—It’s just been so long since I could actually trust someone, y’know? Like, the kinda trust where you don’t have to check their phone or wonder why they’re not answering...”

I sit back on my knees, listening. What the hell could I say to that?

“God, I’ve just been hurt so much. Too much. And I just… Is it stupid that I just want someone good? Just like… Just a genuinely good person?”

She rubs her eyes and snorts a laugh while I stare, dumbfounded.

“You’re… You’re good, Jasper. You’re actually good. Like, deep-down good. Not fake-good. Real good. And I don’t… I don’t usually say stuff like this cause it’s scary but… the drinks and you kissed me, and you’re just… You’re just good.”

She flops back on the couch and pulls her skirt up higher. “M’kay, my pussy is all yours.”

I blink more times than I could count. Is there moisture in my eyes? What the ever loving fuck? It feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water over my head.

I clear my throat. “Uh, be right back. Bathroom.”

She singsongs something as I book it down the hall, holding onto the wall for balance. When I stare at myself in the mirror, I don’t even recognize the man looking back at me. Dark puffy bags under his eyes. Sallow skin, scruffy facial hair. Smile nowhere to be seen. What good does Falin see in me? I’m not that guy. The one to keep. I’ve never been him.

I splash cold water on my face and groan. “Fuck, I’m going to regret this.”

Turning, I head back to the living room, ready to tell Falin all the reasons why she shouldn’t trust me. Why I’m not the guy she thinks I am. But she’s curled onto her side, eyes closed, and lips parted while soft breaths escape them.

I grab a blanket from the other side of the couch, cover her, and turn to head into my room when her soft voice pulls me back.

“Stay,” she whispers.

I fight with myself for a moment before finally giving in and sliding against her on the couch.

We haven’t talked about that night since. What is there to say? She opened up to me, told me exactly what she needed, and I ran. Well, only in the metaphorical sense. But still, I can’t get her out of my head. I crave her more than those fucking pills and that’s saying something.

My skin is tight, like it’s stretched over a body it doesn’t belong on. I run a hand through my hair and open the door to the deli down the block from our place. The clerk nods his head at me while I step around a mother and little kid browsing the candy rack. I go immediately to the sweets section, grabbing a pack of cookies and a fucking Twinkie. Sugar has helped with the cravings, although I don’t know what’s worse for my body. I head down the aisle and grab a Monster from the cold case before getting in line to pay.

“Hey, man,” the clerk says. “That all?”

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