“It’s about how you’ve been lying to me.” My voice is edged with the rage I’ve been holding back. “It’s about how everything between us has been built on a goddamn lie.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No?” My lips twist into a sneer before I nod. “Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?” Her eyes narrow, but there’s a flicker of something close to fear.
“I’m the one asking questions tonight.” I close the distance between us. “And you’re going to answer me. All of it. No more fucking games.”
“Nikolai, I don’t—”
“You don’t know what I’m talking about? Okay, fine. Let me spell it out for you then. So, explain why Kirill told me you’re the one who killed Dmitri.”
Her face goes pale.
I almost laugh. “Kirill told me. And you’re not even denying it. So go ahead. Tell me why.”
“I—I,”
“Don’t act shocked,” I snap. “Don’t pretend you didn’t do it. You’ve been hiding this from me since the start.”
“I was going to tell you—”
I shove the cutting board aside with force, and the knife clangs across the counter, so she flinches back. “When? After you wrung every last drop of information out of me? After you twisted me around your little finger until I was too fucking blind to see the knife coming?”
She shakes her head, panic slipping in her expression. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what the hell is it like?” I’m close now, so close. “You killed the man who made me who I am. You murdered him, and you kept it from me.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you. I thought—”
“You thought you could keep playing me.” I slam my hand against the counter beside her. “Just admit it. Admit that every moment we spent together was a goddamn ploy to use me.”
“It wasn’t. You have to believe me, Nikolai.”
“I don’t have to do anything. You killed him. You fucking killed him, and you kept it from me. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”
“I was trying to protect you!” The words burst out of her. “Dmitri was part of it, Nikolai. He was one of the men running the recruitment for Kirill’s Bratva. The same network that pulled Irina into their mess. I killed him because he was a monster. Because he was the reason she got involved in all of this.”
“Bullshit.” My voice is a low growl. “You could’ve told me. You could’ve trusted me. But instead, you chose to hide it. To manipulate me.”
“No.” Tears are shimmering in her eyes now, but I’m too far gone to care. “I was going to tell you. I just...I didn’t know how. I didn’t know if you’d—”
“Spare me the excuses.” I can’t hear it anymore. Can’t stand the sound of her voice pleading for something I’m not sure I can give.
“Nikolai, please—”
“Enough.”
“I thought killing him would make someone notice,” her voice is shaking. “I thought maybe...maybe if I could cut off the head of the operation, then the rest of it would crumble. That maybe, just maybe, I’d find out what happened to Irina.”
I laugh again. “So, you coming after me was to kill me like you did him?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “It’s not like that. I tried to do it alone. I did. But I ran out of options. And then you—”
I grab her by the throat and slam her against the wall, pinning her there with one hand. Her eyes go wide, a strangled gasp escaping her lips. “Me?”
“You were my best lead, Nikolai.” Her voice cracks. “But then... then it became something else. You...you became something else.”