Page 17 of Ludovico's Vengeance

“Giovanni,mio vita. I know you had no intention of returning to this life or the life I had planned for you.” She shakes her head like she’s trying to forget the past decade and a half. “But now that you’re here and you’ve taken your position as Capo, you need to make sure everyone knows you’re not to be fucked with.”

My footsteps echo through the large foyer as I cross the open space, headed back toward the kitchen. My steps begin to falter as the two women who have taken me under their wing come into view. Vanna is seated at the kitchen island laughing at something Jade said while she’s cooking. Instead of joining in on the conversation, I take a seat next to Vanna. My mind still whirls from the events of this morning.

What does it say about me, that seeing the man I fell asleep with last night kill a man isn’t the part that has me flustered?

I’m not sure how long I've been sitting here before I feel a cold gentle hand clasp over mine. I look up to see a worried Jade. There was a time when the idea of being touched like this, even this little gesture, would have been a foreign concept. Now, after only a week, my eyes well with tears at the kindness from this woman.

“Nina, would you like something for breakfast?” She squeezes gently, her lips tilt down into a frown.

I wipe the unshed tears from my eyes and force as bright a smile as I can while offering a reassuring nod.

“Thank you. A cinnamon bun and a hot tea would be wonderful.” My request is met with a raised brow. My pulse begins to race as I take in her inquisitive glance. “What?”

Jade and Vanna’s eyes meet. A silent conversation passes between them.

“Hot tea? You haven’t had tea since you’ve been here. What gives, Sweetheart?” Vanna asks the question that they apparently both want to know.

I lift and drop my shoulder in a half shrug, unsure of how to explain what is going through my mind. A few moments later, my breakfast is placed before me. The two women who have been a source of comfort during this transition continue their conversation as if I’m not here. My heart rate slows as they ignore me. I’m not sure if it’s the healthiest way to cope, but after being alone for so long, I need to internally process before I can verbalize my thoughts.

My mouth waters as I take my first bite, the mixture of the sweet cream cheese icing and spicy cinnamon explode on my tongue. With my eyes closed, I allow myself to get lost in the medley of flavors. Jade added something a little different to it this time. My eyes fly open, and I find her staring at me like she’s been waiting for me to figure it out.

“What did you do?” I ask as I take another bite, not waiting for a response. Jade grins at me as I lift the steaming mug of tea to my lips and take a cautious sip.

“If you can tell I changed something so small as adding a dash of cardamom from one bite, you’re cooking dinner with me tonight, kid.” Jade chuckles and turns away, disappearing from the room for another task.

My eyes drop back down to my now empty plate. I hop down from the chair and take my dishes to the sink. When I turn around, Vanna is staring at me.

“Would you mind taking a walk with me?” My question comes out as a whisper, but her lips pull into a knowing grin.

“Of course, Dear, let’s go.” She steps down and sidles up next to me as we walk side by side to the back door. I can sense Abel and Rand behind us now without the need to glance back.

I stop at one of the large rose bushes and lean in, taking a deep breath of the beautiful floral scent. My eyes prick with confusion and joy.It’s the strangest combination of emotions. Zero out of ten, don’t recommend.I turn toward Vanna instead of continuing through the greenery, ready to rip off the proverbial band aid.

“What is it, Honey?” Vanna’s maternal nature peaks through as she pulls me into a tight embrace.

I bury my face in my hands as I gather the words and confidence to share my reason for dragging her out here.

“I don’t know what’s going on with – well anything, really.” Once I begin, the words start to tumble out, the thoughts continue much easier. “When I’m with Giovanni I feel more comfortable and at home than I’ve ever felt. Last night, you know what happened...” I pause waiting for acknowledgement which she provides in a small jerk of her head. “He forced me to stay in his room last night. I’ve never – I mean, obviously I’ve never – but I’ve never shared a room overnight with a man, let alone a bed. But I woke up and I was basically wrapped around him like a Koala on a eucalyptus tree.”

At some point during my confession, we must have begun walking again because I realize we’re approaching the gorgeous wrought-iron bench set under one of the smaller trees. She waves her hand in front of me to take a seat, our shoulders are touching as I continue to spew the word vomit at her.

“I just – I don’t understand why I feel the way I do. When he walks in the room my tummy does weird things that makes my heart stutter in my chest at the same time.” When I glance over at Vanna she’s trying and failing to hide her smile. “What? What is it?”

She shakes her head and holds a hand up in surrender. “Sweetheart, you spent a lot of time reading and watching movies when you were – well, before you came here, right?”

I nod, unsure where she’s going with this. My eyes stay locked on her as she covers her mouth trying to hide her amusement. I let out a groan and begin to stand, but she pulls me back down, her dark eyes sparkle with delight as she takes me in.

“Remember in those stories, whether it was on page or on screen, there would be couples that end up together usually sharing a kiss at the very end?” Her voice is so soft, as she tries to hold back laughter. I jerk my head in an annoyed nod. Her shoulders begin to steady as the amusement subsides and cups my face between her delicate hands. “Sweetheart, you are falling for my Giovanni.”

The headboard of Giovanni’s bed is cool on my back as I lean against it. My mind is a maze of chaos and confusion as I run through the conversation with Vanna in my mind again. Who am I kidding? It’s been playing on repeat since I made my way back into the solace of our room.Ourroom. I don’t even know what any of this means.

I allow myself to think back to the books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched with Cece. Jane and Stan’s sweet first crush in the old book with hearts all over the cover that I’ve read so many times the title, Fifteen, is worn off. Most recently, she had a book peeking out of her bag that I may have borrowed for the night when she wasn’t looking. It was a fun book about a female millionaire, which was different. I liked it.I wonder if I can get any more of that author’s books now.My insides were gooey after reading that.

A Walk to Rememberwas a beautiful story and the first time Landon and Jamie kissed I felt like my heart would explode. The tension between the two was intoxicating, I’ve wanted that since Cece allowed me to watch that movie. I mean, without the cancer, obviously.

Huh...

My lips part with a sharp gasp. Pinhead chooses that moment to climb into my lap. His tail slaps violently against me. He stands on his hind legs stretching up to my face where he butts his furry face against my chin and wraps his paws around my neck in a hug. I fold my arms around him and hold him against my chest. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks, and I take in a shaky breath.

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