Page 71 of Hell or High Water

“That’s, uh…”Think, Montana. Use your words. “I think it’s best that we don’t do that…those things anymore.” I cleared my throat. “That was a mistake.” One that had felt amazing until I had time to see the big picture around it.

Than licked his bottom lip, then pulled it through his teeth. “What aren’t we gonna do anymore, Six?” he asked, taking a step toward me.

I took another back and shook my head.

He stopped, and we stood there silently. Keeping my resolve was hard. When we were alone, I could forget that he only showed me any affection when we were naked. Otherwise, he treated me as if I were some little kid he had to babysit.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it when you were writhing beneath me this morning, crying out my name while you came.” The edge to his voice made it clear he wasn’t happy about this.

“That was this morning. I’ve had all day to…” I stopped. How did I say this? I didn’t want him to think I wanted a commitment from him. “Think. And I—I can’t do that with someone and there be nothing else. I’m not just a body to be used. I’m a person.”

Than’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t sound like you were being used when you were getting off. You sounded like you were being pleasured.”

Ugh. I was bad at this. His looking at me like that wasn’t making it easy to think.

“Yes, I liked it. I enjoyed it. That’s not what I am saying. I can’t do those things with you if there is nothing else there between us.”

He sneered at me, and it felt as if he’d slapped me. Then he let out a hard, sadistic-sounding laugh. “I see,” he said, looking as if I disgusted him. “That’s what I get for messing around with a virgin.” He stalked back to the bed and snatched up his bag. “Let’s go,” he snarled, heading for the door.

“I didn’t mean to make you mad,” I tried to explain because I had said something wrong.

He paused at the door and glanced at me. “I’m not mad.” he said, jerking the door open. Then he walked out of the room without looking back.

My throat constricted, and my eyes burned. I couldn’t go out there and face anyone like this. Taking a deep breath, I tried to stop my emotional reaction to his angry words. I’d said something wrong, but I couldn’t fix it if I didn’t know what was so bad.

A tear broke free, and I wiped it away, then steeled myself so I could walk out of here. This wasn’t how I’d wanted our day to end. It had started out as one of the best of my life, but then that had been me thinking that there was more to it. To us.

When I went to bed tonight, I wouldn’t be able to ask him to sleep beside me. I’d have to face my fears alone. But then I’d been doing that since Momma had taken her last breath.

Thirty-One

Than

My knee bounced under my hand as I stared at the closed door to Montana’s bedroom. Forty-eight hours of silence, and I was about to fucking snap.

Leaving this morning before she came out of the bedroom had been harder than I’d thought. But then, yesterday had been hell, so I had thought this would be easier.

It wasn’t. I’d had a lot of time to think. More than I needed.

She thought I was mad at her. I was furious with myself. It had taken me some self-reflection to figure that out, but I had. I wanted her so damn bad that I was seconds away from jerking that door open and telling her whatever she wanted to hear. Agreeing to anything.

And if it was just about wanting to get her naked and my cockhead in that tight cunt again, then I could accept it. But that wasn’t all it was. Because every time she didn’t look at me, and she didn’t smile, and she looked so goddamn sad, it made my chest hurt. And that was the root of my fury.

She hadn’t come out to get dinner, and it was after eight. Why wasn’t she coming out? She’d gotten food the other times I was in the cabin. It had been silent. In fact, there hadn’t been one word spoken between us since I’d walked out of my bedroom two nights ago.

The ride home, there had been so much tension that it was hard to breathe. I’d come so close to telling her I was sorry. But if I did that, then…then I would have to listen to her. Find out what it was she had been trying to say. Although I had a feeling I knew the gist of it.

She’d been aware that sexual things were going to lead to her having feelings for me, and since I’d gone out of my way to make sure while we’d been out that day to not treat her differently, it had led to her stopping things. And I couldn’t fucking blame her for that.

Hell, I had opened doors for complete strangers and not done it for her. I’d been a complete dick. But the threat that she’d smile at me and her eyes would do that soft, sweet gaze that made me want to grab her face and see if her mouth was as sweet as the rest of her had been the cause of my dick behavior. I should have just talked to her. Told her that this wasn’t some beginning of a relationship. Made sure she understood where we stood.

Rolling my eyes at my own thoughts, I shook my head. I was worried about her not wanting some commitment from me that we couldn’t have when I was ready to start ripping off the limbs of my friends who so much as tried to get near her. It was me who needed to be talked to.

FUCK! What was I supposed to do with this? And how did I get my chest to stop doing weird shit? It was uncomfortable.

Movement in the other room caught my attention, and I stopped bouncing my leg and stilled to listen. She was walking. The hardwood creaked right before she reached the door, and then the knob turned. Relief. She was going to eat.

Yes, I cared. I cared about all kinds of shit I shouldn’t.

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