Page 31 of Barrett

“And?” he asked. I didn’t expect nor know what to say to that.

“And?”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “That’s nothing new. I’m guessing you’re in front of me because you want to do something about it.”

“I kissed him.”

“This isn’t a teenage crush, Reghan. I don’t require the details.”

“He’s not who I thought he was.”

“No, he never was, but that wasn’t for me to tell you. Nor was it for me to say if you could trust him or not. There's only so far my faith in him goes, given the job he holds. You had to discover Barrett’s secrets from the man himself and figure out if you could trust him. Now that you know more about him, you can’t walk away. Correct?”

I nodded.

“Did you talk to him?” He shook his head. “Never mind, I know you did or you wouldn’t be here. And why the fuck am I getting so goddamn sentimental? Fucking Vail and Hartley,” he muttered. “This is all their fault.”

“Sir?” It wasn’t the first time I’d heard him say those words to himself.

“What do you want from me?”

“To keep my job and have a relationship with Barrett.” It was a pipe dream, yet it was one I couldn’t let go of without a fight.

“What does he want?”

“For us both to keep our jobs and for him to continue to be able to care for his brother.” There was no worry inside me over talking freely about Barrett’s brother. Jordan had already been aware of him, probably was for as long as he’d known Barrett. “And for it to work out between us.”

“I’m powerful, but not that much. I have no control over Barrett’s future in his chosen profession. As for you…” Here it came. I was either going to walk out the door and pack my shit, or I was going to have to restrain myself from rounding Jordan’s desk to hug him with how happy he made me. “You’re a grown man, and while I can tell you to do many things, I have no power over who you decide to fall in love with. What I can say is, I won’t fire you, but there will be ground rules you have to follow, or it’s your ass. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re going to have a difficult time meeting him. He can’t come here, and you can’t show up at his work either. There are hard limits. As long as he’s employed by the East Dremest PD, he is not to be in my building unless he has a warrant, or his life is about to end.”

“Yes, sir.”

“When you're on my detail, you're solely focused on me, my men, and our surroundings. That is nonnegotiable. However, in your off-hours, if there is backup here for you that doesn’t only include your brother, you can do as you please. If you’re out and I need you here, you will come back unless your fucking life is on the line. If you find yourself in a situation with no way out, you’re to call your brother or Barry, and we will extract you, no matter what it is. I know you think I’m a hard-ass, Reghan, and I am, but you work for me. You're one of my best men, and I’ll be damned if I leave you in danger.”

“I appreciate that.” There wasn’t a lot I could say. He ran the show, and I had to follow the rules. I was just happy he didn’t immediately tell me I couldn’t see Barrett. It had everything to do with the men Jordan loved. They influenced him in many ways. I still didn’t want to cross him though.

“If shit’s going down and Barrett’s not able to call for backup, you call your brother or Barry. I don’t want to think of the hell you two are going to find yourselves neck-deep in if his fucking boss finds out, but right now, that’s not my problem. Mine is to keep you safe so you can protect me and the people I care about. I wouldn’t have spent this long keeping Barrett around if I didn’t have a modicum of trust in him. It’s small, really fucking tiny, but it exists. Barrett hasn’t gone behind my back and has gone out of his way to help me on numerous occasions.”

“He wears a mask, so no one sees the real him.” I wasn’t sure why I had to defend him. Jordan had to be aware of this, but the deeper I saw into Barrett, the more I uncovered, the more vulnerable he was.

Jordan leaned forward and put his forearms on his desk so he could clasp his hands. “Barrett’s past is his business. What he tells you is his choice. He hasn’t had it easy and has worked hard to be where he is. But if a day comes where you can’t stand to be apart from him for a fucking second and want him here with you, he’s going to have to make a choice. All in or all out because hiding shit is only going to last for so long before one of you slips up and is caught. I don’t say that lightly since you’re both smart as hell, but it’s reality. Love makes you do stupid shit, and in this case, that could mean both of your asses in jail. I really don’t want to pay to have Barrett freed as well as you. Jesus, do you hear the shit coming out of my mouth?" he growled. "Fuck’s sake. It’s like I don’t know who the hell I am anymore.”

“You’re in love. You see things differently now.”

He pointed at me. “If you tell anyone I’m this way, I’ll slit your throat myself.” He wouldn’t, but it was still a solid threat. Vail and Hartley would never let him do such a thing. Fire me, probably. Kill me, not unless I tried to kill someone Jordan cared about.

“I’ve never told a soul anything I’ve heard or witnessed. I won’t start now.”

“Good. I'll most likely add more rules for you to follow, but I can’t think of them now. There’s too much I need to get done.” He gestured at his desk. “You can go.”

“Thank you, sir.” I stood and walked toward the door.

“And, Reghan?”

“Yes?” I turned.

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