Page 30 of Barrett

It didn’t matter that Reghan and I didn’t hate each other. As far as my job was concerned, being with him was a huge problem. Or they'd think I was trying to gather intel. One look at us when we were together, and they'd realize that wasn't happening.

Leaning away, I removed myself from his touch. “We can’t do this. If they found out, I’d lose my job. I need to take care of Marshall.”

“We could be discreet.”

“How would that work? We only see each other in back alleys and the warehouses Jordan owns? And what about him? He wouldn’t want you with me.”

“I’d have to talk to him; figure shit out there. I don’t think he’d fire me.”

I shook my head. “This is insanity. We shouldn’t talk about it anymore. Both of us losing our jobs? No, that’s not going to happen. It’s too risky. And for what? We don’t even know if we’d work. It’s too big of a gamble.”

“You’re nothing like I thought you were.”

“Ditto. I had you all wrong. You’re still hot though. That didn’t change.” I sighed. “I should get home. I have to work tomorrow. Thanks for going with me today. It sucks that we didn’t find anything out, but at least we tried. Hopefully, one of those people will remember a clue or see something and reach out.” Reghan had given them his card, a fake one with a fake name and the number to a line that fed to the security center in Jordan’s building. It was one they weren’t using for anything else.

Before he could respond, I turned for the door handle to open it. I didn’t get very far. A hand on my forearm pulled me back, and before I knew what was happening, Reghan’s mouth was on mine. Tears stung my eyes at how badly I wanted this. How much I wanted to part my lips and invite him inside. How I wanted to stay in this moment and fucking drown in him.

I turned away before we could do more. “I can’t.” My eyes didn’t meet his. I stared at my shoes. I couldn’t look at the rejection I undoubtedly put on his face. It would only hurt more.

Opening the door, I got out and shut it behind me without looking back. The tears didn’t break free. I blinked them away and forced the lump in my throat down. Never had I walked away from a man I desired. If I wanted sex, I had it. If I wanted my ass pounded, I found a guy who was up for the task. As much as I wished it could have been only about sex with Reghan, that wouldn’t happen. Nothing with him would be simple. He was an entanglement I could get so lost in that no one would find me.

I unlocked my car and took a seat, starting the engine. Looking straight ahead, I focused on the windshield without seeing what was beyond it. My mind was a jumbled mess. My body strained to return to Reghan. And my heart was withering and dying in my chest.

The saying was you create your own hell. Well, I created mine and had to live with the consequences.

The feel of Reghan’s lips against mine.

The way his hand gripped my arm firmly but not enough to bruise.

How he tried to pour his emotions into that kiss, even though I wasn’t receptive to what we could have.

I knew damn well what I was turning down. It was for the best; at least, that was what I told myself as I drove home.

14

REGHAN

Since parting ways with Barrett, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It wasn’t a new feeling, only more intense. There was more of an urge to find him and keep him close. Barrett didn’t need me to protect him. He could handle himself. That didn’t stop my mind from constantly being drawn back to him and how if he was with me, he would be better off.

He made good points when we talked though. There wasn't an easy way for us to work this out. He was a detective, and I worked for a mafia boss.

I couldn’t forget how Jordan told me to fuck and flee. If I saw this going further, I had to talk to him. If my desire for Barrett interfered with my protection of Jordan and his men, shit was going to go downhill fast, which was why I had to speak to my boss.

It was Saturday afternoon. I was on Jordan’s detail until my brother took over tonight. Vail was in his kitchen downstairs, cooking dinner for as many people as possible. If Vail had it his way, he’d feed the whole city. Hartley was at his studio working on a new line of menswear. How he thought of so many ideas was anyone’s guess. And Ava was at a friend’s house. This left me alone with Jordan.

Walking to his office in his home, I knocked on the open door. Usually, I stayed at my post but with no one here, it was okay for me to step away.

Jordan’s head lifted. I waited for him to give me an irritated demand of asking what I wanted. Instead, I was greeted with a kinder Jordan. I didn’t use the word soft because it seemed to cause him to get angry in a second flat. Even thinking it was a hard hell no. “Yes?”

“Can I speak to you for a minute, sir?”

He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. “Have a seat.” When I was in front of him, on his level, he asked, “What is it?”

“As you know, I spent time with Barrett while we tried to find clues of firsthand accounts so we could track down the asshole who’s been kidnapping men.”

His eyes narrowed. “Go on.”

I didn’t fidget, didn’t squirm in front of him. Jordan didn’t respect weak men, and I’d never considered myself one. “I have feelings for him.” My breath wasn’t coming easier, but I spoke my truth to the man who had the ability to put me out of a job and kill me.

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