Page 27 of Barrett

“You were trying to be all tough, protecting your boss, and I couldn’t resist ruffling your feathers.”

“You were cocky.”

He shrugged. “I usually am.”

“You kept stepping closer even though I told you to back up.”

His smile grew. “I usually do the opposite when I’m told to do something. I’m fun like that.”

“You acted as if you were untouchable. That no matter what Jordan or I said, you were above us.”

“Now, hold on,” he said and lowered his voice. We were both leaning on the table, close enough to whisper without anyone hearing us. “I have never thought I was better than you or Jordan. Not once. I don’t care who you are or what you do. Sure, I come off cocky, but that’s not really me, and you know that.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” I wanted to tack on back then, but something held me back from saying it. Maybe if I didn’t, he’d elaborate on what he was hiding. There were still pieces of his past I didn’t know about, ones he hadn’t shared.

“You’re telling me I set the tone for our relationship? Or was it your reaction to my perceived attitude? Because the way I’m looking at it, we’re both at fault here. Jordan and I didn’t hate one another or try to go for each other’s jugular. Yet from day one with you, I was the enemy.”

“Aren’t you?” I couldn’t help it. He was still a detective, and I was still a killer.

The smile slipped from his face. The mask, however, didn’t drop in its place. I wanted the real Barrett. Maybe I’d finally get him. “After all this time of me doing… Ya know, for you know who, and you still think that?” Barrett leaned away and slouched against the seat. “Whatever, man. I’m not sure what to do to make you think of me differently, and honestly, what’s the point? You’re still going to judge me.”

“It’s not just that. Whenever we saw each other, you reinforced my first impression. You had to outdo yourself each time. Be more of an asshole. More of the guy I didn’t want anywhere near me because he was so fake I couldn’t read him. Don’t you get that? I have a job to do and part of it is reading the people around me. If I can’t get a read on you, I’m going to assume the worst.”

“What about me? I’m supposed to bare my throat so you can look at me like a specimen under a microscope? Sorry, but you didn’t need to know everything about me. Your boss did, and he was fine working with me. You should have taken that cue. Once again... you were judging me.”

It took everything in me not to reach across the table and fist his shirt so I could get right in his face. Instead, I whispered, “Fuck you, Bear.”

That was when our food was dropped off. We ate in silence. I was on autopilot. My stomach had been growling when we walked in but had since turned sour. Food was needed though. If I screwed up my eating habits, I could trigger a migraine.

Every bite tasted like I was eating air. I didn’t enjoy the meal or the company. The more I ate, the more irritated I became until we were done, the bill was paid, and I stomped out of the building with fury in every step.

Fuck Barrett and his bullshit. I tried to get him to trust me, and all he did was prove why it was a bad idea. Once my ass was in my seat, I slammed the door shut so hard I winced. I shouldn’t have done that. The last thing I needed was to break the door. I had no time for that.

Barrett got inside much gentler than me. The fire had left him. Whatever. He could sit and stew or not.

We got back on the highway heading south. The sun was slowly setting, and thankfully, the traffic was lighter since we were going in the opposite direction of the commuters.

About fifteen minutes into the drive, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I almost ran off the road at the shock of him apologizing. I turned the wheel and then had to jolt us back into the lane. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not going to say it again,” he growled. Fair. I wouldn’t ask him to repeat it. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t make him work for it.

“What are you apologizing for?”

His head dropped against the seat, and his eyes closed. “Everything, okay? I did what I did out of necessity, not because I hated you or didn’t trust you. Well, I didn’t trust you then. Now’s a different story. I just… I have shit I need to handle at home, and if the world knows, that puts it at risk.” There was a lot he wasn’t saying, but this was still more than I’d gotten from him before.

“Do you have a kid?”

“No, but…”

“Okay, here’s how this is going to happen. I’m not going to repeat what you tell me. I won’t even tell my brother, which is a big fucking deal. Raiden and I are close, so me keeping something from him won’t be easy, but I’ll do it if you’ll trust me.”

“I want to.”

“Jordan knows.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind he did, but with that came the knowledge that my boss knew more about the man I desired than I did. It hurt. I wanted to be the one who held Barrett’s secrets—only me.

“He does because he dug into my background to see what there was. I didn’t blame him. A man like him has to protect himself. Plus, he had to find ways to keep me in line, ways to bribe me if need be.”

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