Page 13 of Barrett

Even though Barrett and I had gone round for round more times than I could count, I still had the urge to soothe away his worry. I shouldn’t. The asshole gave me no reason to want to do anything for him. Our helping him had everything to do with Jordan and the people missing. Not Barrett, or so I kept telling myself.

Jordan picked up his phone, called Barry, and then stepped into the hall. Jordan would only say so much in front of Barrett. Yes, they were on the same side in this, and even to the extent they would both do what was necessary to find who was doing this shit and hopefully rescue the men taken. Barrett still had his job to worry about.

It was clear every time I saw him how his job was important. The fire and passion for it weren’t there, although Barrett hated to see anyone suffer who didn’t deserve it. There was more to it. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.

We had the room to ourselves. I could easily ask him what had him so tied up in knots when I last saw him. Or why he put on a mask of cockiness, as if nothing could touch him.

I didn’t say a word. I stayed leaning against the wall with my arms crossed and my eyes on him. Jordan was safe in the building, plus my brother was out there. In here, it was just Barrett and me.

Hazel eyes met mine a moment before Barrett reclined in his chair, that cocky fucking smirk in place. “See something you want?” he asked. Any other time, I would have let him bait me. We would have one-upped each other until I growled in his face while he half-heartedly offered himself to me. Today, I didn’t want that side of Barrett.

“Why do you do that?” I asked with no heat in my words.

His smirk dropped for a second before he put it back in place. “Do what?”

“Act like nothing touches you. Like you don’t give a shit when I know you do. Like what we say to each other doesn’t matter.” That last question wasn’t supposed to slip out. Fuck it. I said it and waited to see how he responded.

“This is who I am.”

I was tempted to push off the wall and lean over the table to get closer to him, but I kept myself in place. Showing him he affected me wouldn’t get us anywhere. We had countless interactions to prove it. “You’re lying. Is it because you don’t want anyone to know you, or is it just me you won’t open up to?”

The smirk fell, and he got to his feet. “I’m not talking about this.”

Before he could get to the door, I rounded the table and blocked his path, keeping my face neutral. If I had any chance of getting through to him, I had to stop reacting with anger. I wanted to. Oh, how I ever did.

“Move, Reghan, or I’ll move you myself.”

I scoffed. “You can’t, and we both know it.”

He tried to step around me, but I slid to the right to block him. “Seriously, fucking move.”

“No. I’m tired of this shit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not going to stand here and expose my fucking soul to you. Ask your boss if you want to take a shovel to my past. He’s already dug through my entire family tree. I’m sure he knows my blood type and has a hair sample somewhere.” Maybe Sheldon did, but not Jordan.

“If I wanted to do that, I already would have. I wantyouto tell me.”

Barrett’s hands balled into fists by his side. “I’m not telling you shit. My personal life is just that.”

I nodded. “As long as I know where I stand.”

“Right the fuck in front of me. Move.”

Lifting my hand, I held it in front of his face, tempted to cradle his jaw to see if he’d relax. Barrett wasn’t angry all the time. I brought it out in him, even when I didn’t mean to.

My hand fell to my side, and I spoke some of the truest words I’d ever said to him. “I’m not sure why you think so little of me, but I’m worth more than this. I deserve more.”

His mouth dropped open. “You think I don’t think you’re worthy of me? Have you lost your mind? Jesus, you don’t know shit.” This time, I let him walk around me. When he did, he whispered, “It’s the other way around.”

I didn’t stop him as he went to the door and wrenched it open, nor did I watch his retreating frame.

Was that what this was? He didn’t think he was worthy of me? I knew what I brought to the table, but how could he not realize what he did? Barrett was much smarter than me. He solved cases for the city for a living. What the hell did I do? I was the muscle and protection for a very wealthy mafia boss. Yeah, I was strategic. I could plan operations and knew how to handle a gun with precision. My brother and I could fight back-to-back, predicting the other’s moves. Those were all things to be admired as skills, but I wasn’t on the same level as Barrett.

He could take his career and keep building on it, moving higher up the chain of command. Where could I go? I wasn’t about to learn the business so I could have a seat at the Altair mafia table. That wasn’t in the cards for me. This was the top of the career ladder, if I could call it a career.

“Reghan?” my brother asked from behind me.

“I’m good.”

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