Page 6 of Hartley

Butterflies danced in my stomach. They shouldn’t. I wasn’t the one heading back to school. But I knew how it felt to return to school after losing someone important in my life.

“If you need anything at all,” I said to Ava, “just call. I can be down there fast.” Jordan and I hadn’t spoken a lot to Ava. She was closer to Vail, which was understandable.

“Me too,” Vail said. “We’re a call away.”

Ava peered over her shoulder at Julia, Kayli’s sister. She differed from Kayli in some respects. In others, like her blue eyes and blond hair, they were the same. Julia had hers cut shorter, falling to her chin in waves. She wore a pair of dark jeans, comfortable-looking sneakers, and a black shirt under a light-blue spring jacket. Her face was makeup free. She seemed less “look at me wrong and I’ll kill you” than Kayli. We’d seen her spar in the gym with Kayli. Julia was just as capable as her sister. She also readily jumped at the chance to work with Ava, even though she hated Jordan.

“I won’t be visible,” Julia said. “I’ll take you to school in themornings and pick you up after. Then we’ll come back here. On the days you have after-school activities, I’ll take you where you need to go.” Julia smiled softly. That smile was reserved for anyone but Jordan. He got a glare.

Ava turned, peering up at Vail with pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Vail said. “We talked about it. Due to who Jordan is, we have to keep precautions in place.”

“I know, but…” She was worried what the other kids would think. She’d voiced it to Vail. I also thought Ava worried Julia was going to try to be a mother figure to her, which wasn’t close to the intention. No one could replace her mother.

“Ava,” Jordan began in a gentle tone. “Like Vail and Hart have said, we’re here. It doesn’t matter the time of day or the reason. We’ll be there for you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. She was the most timid around Jordan, understandably so. He tried softening his facial features around her. He even took it a step further and bought… Wait for it… Jeans! We wouldn’t discuss how I wanted to put him in chaps and live out a cowboy fantasy now. The jeans were an effort for Ava to see him as something other than a scary mafia boss. I could see how the suits were intimidating.

“Come on,” Vail said. “I’ll walk you out.” Jordan was having Julia drive one of the sedans he had in his fleet. It was less assuming. I told Jordan Ava wouldn’t want to stand out. A big, tinted SUV would draw everyone’s attention.

Once the doors closed, Jordan’s jaw clenched. I moved to stand in front of him so I could put my hands on his waist. “She’s going to be okay. Having some normalcy will help, as well as her friends.”

“She’s been texting them nonstop. She’s too young for a phone.”

“Her mom gave her that phone. We won’t take it away or dictate how she uses it. Unless she’s doing something awful, then the rules are out the window. If her mom saw fit for her to have it, that was her call. We’ll honor it.”

“She shouldn’t be going to public school either.”

“You can’t keep her in a bubble.”

He ground his teeth together.

I reached up to pry his lips apart with my thumb. It had the desired effect, and his jaw released. “Thank you,” I said. “Now, you’re going to work and so am I. We’re going to move on with our days like we normally do, or else we’ll spend the whole time worrying about her.” Who was I kidding? We were going to do that anyway.

The elevator returned with Vail. He had tears in his eyes. “That was heartbreaking,” he said brokenly.

“Oh, no.” I went to him to wrap him in my arms, as did Jordan. “What happened?”

“She hugged me and said how much she missed her mom. That her mom always kissed her and told her she loved her before she went to school.” His body began to shake as he sucked in a ragged breath. “I wish I could do more. Nothing will heal her pain though.”

“Time will help ease it.”

Jordan suddenly released Vail and turned away from us.

I reached for his arm before he could go far. “What’s going on?”

“Is this how my son felt when I killed his mother? How much pain was he in because of what I did?” His shoulders slumped and he dropped his chin to his chest.

“You did what you had to, so he stayed alive.”

“That doesn’t erase the years of pain he went through from missing her.”

“It was miss her or not be here at all.”

“I should have done better.” The guilt he long held on to returned and lay heavily on his shoulders.

“You can’t change the past. All you can do is recognize what you did wrong and not make the same mistake again. You’re mending things with JJ.”

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