Page 60 of Just A Little Magic

“I like her nickname.”

Bear smiled softly at me before he said, “Yeah, she doesn’t seem to mind it.”

As we spoke, Elizabeth trotted out of the catio, straight to the stairs off the living room, and walked about halfway up before stopping and looking back at us. Barrett took my hand in his and we followed her up. She waited at the top and followed us to his bedroom.

Off to the side of his bedroom was a bookshelf door that hid a secret room. Barrett pressed the hidden lever and the shelf swung open. He tugged me forward, checked to make sure Elizabeth was with us, and then closed the door.

I jokingly called the hidden room Barrett’s lair, but it definitely had a feel for it. It was the reason I immediately endorsed picking this house when he was doing his house hunting. Bear sat on the couch in front of the gas fireplace and pulled me down on top of him so I was cradled in his arms. Elizabeth joined on my lap. All my excuses vanished.

“Lay it out for me, babe. What’s had you running away from me for so long?”

“In hindsight, maybe it’s dumb.”

“How dumb can it be if it’s something you’ve kept hidden for so long?” Bear asked gently.

He rubbed soft circles on my thigh while I worked up the courage to speak. I kept myself tucked tight into him.

“Do you remember that weekend you went home?”

“Yeah. When I got back, you said you didn’t want to play with anyone at clubs or anywhere else. You shut down our flirtations too.” Bear wasn’t looking at me, which helped.

“I went to the club because I thought maybe I could find someone, and then I could stop obsessing about a thing I shouldn’t have been obsessing about. I changed into a onesie, attached my paci, and went into the playroom. I was already regressing pretty deep and struggling to communicate.”

As I continued my explanation, Bear’s body tensed under my own and his breathing went from steady to harsh. “The status difference was the reason I shut down any possibilities, but there was a group of Daddies there. A few of them tried to talk or whatever with me, but I was too little, and it was a struggle. They weren’t that far away, and even if my words couldn’t be understood, I could hear just fine the horrible things they said.”

“What the fuck did they say?” Bear’s coiled muscles were rock solid beneath me.

“That littles like me weren’t worth the trouble they took. The worst ones were the kind that just wanted play and nothing else, and I was a great example. If I was too dumb to know how to talk, why was I even in a club when that was the point of being there? Some of the littles around me were nodding and agreeing with them.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, babe. It explains why you want your little time to be so private.”

“I can’t, like, just snap out of my little brain, so I couldn’t find the words, and I was scared, and what if they did more than just trash talk?” The last was said with a shudder. It was my worst nightmare.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was the point? You liked the club and playing with the littles. You started dating that guy right after, and it just seemed pointless.” I finished with a shrug.

“What about Rory and Jakob? They’re your friends and would never be mean.”

“Yeah, but what if I ruined their little time? I’d feel terrible about it, and they’d feel guilty when I couldn’t make myself more like them. It’s just easier to be on my own.”

“Babe, listen to me.” With a slight grunt, he manhandledme until I straddled his lap. “I don’t want part of you. I want all of you.”

I rolled my eyes because that’s what I’d always done.

“No, you’re not doing that. You won’t roll your eyes and pretend you’re giving me a chance.”

I tried hard to keep my jaw from dropping. Barrett never spoke sharply to me. Ever.

“You can’t keep me out and then say I didn’t want in. Let’s go,” Barrett said.

“Where are we going?”

“I can’t think without my dick getting in the way when you’re this close to me.” Obviously, I’d felt his thickening cock swell under my ass, but I was too polite to mention it. “So I’m going to start dinner, and you’re going to do a checklist.”

“For?”

“So I know what you want, what you absolutely don’t want, and what you’re open to trying. And a little list too.”

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