Page 38 of Just A Little Magic

Rory and Jakob exchanged glances at my declaration.

“We’ll play whatever you want. Just because we like playing baby dolls or whatever when we’re together doesn’t mean we have to do any of that. We’ll do what you want if you want to play with us,” Jakob said gently.

“You don’t understand. I’m a little…like really little…like a baby little. I’ve tried so fucking hard not to be. I want to be cute and color and go to the zoo and play with glitter. But when I go into that headspace, I’m just a blob.”

I knew I was sniffling, but I tried hard to avoid full-blown tears. When I said it aloud, it seemed so juvenile. It should have been a riot.

“What are you talking about? There’s no right way to be a little. There’s your way. I don’t understand what that has to do with Barrett,” Rory asked with the same confusion he’d had since they all arrived.

“Jakob, c’mon. Have you ever seen him play with anyone that wasn’t a middle?”

Rory and Jakob looked at each other and then at Anders with wary expressions.

“Exactly. I’m not his kind of little, and I’d be beyond foolish to think his preferences could be switched just because it’s me.We had a moment caused by an actual bear and lost our minds. It changes nothing. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“Bear! What are you talking about?” was the collective chorus, and I launched into that tale. It was a good distraction. I should have left well enough alone and kept it to myself. I had no one but myself to blame if they thought there was a future for Barrett and me.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

BARRETT

Owen had successfully avoided me for more than two weeks. The afternoon we’d scheduled to visit Stone and Vine, he begged off with an undetermined emergency. Miraculously, the emergency was resolved when I had to go out of town, and he made arrangements with the construction crew and architect to meet down there. Late summer had bled into fall, and I was no closer to Owen than I had been before.

Then he and Levi went to visit their families, which I’d never begrudged, but usually, he invited me to go with him even when he knew I couldn’t. Not this time. When I messaged him, as always, he said he couldn’t text because he wanted to be present. I mean, great, but he’d never worried about being present before, and his mom loved me. Half the time, we FaceTimed while they were having dinner so I could be there too. I missed my best friend, goddammit, and I wasn’t ready to give him up.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out how to bridge the impasse we’d reached. In the meantime, I’d spent my time at work this morning staring out the window into the harbor.

My downtown office had a birds-eye view and was usually enough to transfix me. I loved watching the ships and boats coming in and out of the channel. Now, all I did was stare into space and turn over in my mind why Owen was fighting so hard against something between us. I was so busy doing nothing productive that I almost missed the text messages vibrating my phone in rapid succession.

Jakob

This conversation never happened.

We can’t have this conversation unless it never happened.

Got it? Never. Happened.

Barrett

Are you drunk? It’s not even noon.

Jakob

Okay, Judgey McJudgerson. I’ve seen you pop a beer at 10 a.m.

Barrett

At a derby party and that doesn’t count.

Jakob

You say that like it’s a holiday. Also, I’m at work, so not drunk.

Barrett

Uh-huh. Anyway, this conversation never happened.

Jakob

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