Page 37 of Saving Little Clark

"I'm adopted," I said quietly, the words feeling strange and heavy on my tongue. "My parents took me in when I was just a baby. I don't know anything about my birth family, about where I came from or why they gave me up." I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly tight and aching. "For a long time, I thought it was because there was something wrong with me, you know? Something broken, or defective, that made me unlovable. Unworthy of keeping."

Clark’s hand tightened on mine like he never wanted to let go. "Brody," he whispered. "That could never be true.”

I gave him a shaky smile. "I know that now," I said softly, bringing his hand up to my lips and brushing a kiss over his palm. "But it took me a long time to get there, to believe that I was deserving of that kind of love and belonging. And I guess that's part of why this means so much to me. Because you see me, Clark. You see all of me, even the parts that I've always been afraid to show anyone else. And you chose me anyway, just like my adoptive parents did."

Chapter 16: Brody

As we walked arm in arm through the park, the warm breeze ruffling our hair and the soft chirping of birds filling the air, I couldn't help but marvel at the perfect, peaceful beauty of the moment.

Even as I basked in the glow of Clark's presence, I could sense a hint of nervousness in the way he kept worrying.

"Hey," I said softly, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

Clark glanced up at me, his eyes wide and uncertain. "I guess I'm just wondering what this all means, you know? For us."

I frowned slightly. "I thought we were on the same page about wanting to see where this thing between us could go."

"We are," he said quietly, his gaze dropping to the ground. "But I'm a Little. And you're not a Daddy. At least, not yet."

A rush of understanding washed over me. He had bared his soul to me. And I was still fumbling in the dark, still trying to figure out who and what I was in the context of this whole new world.

"Clark," I said softly, coming to a stop. "I'm not a Daddy, not in the way that you deserve. I'm still learning, still trying to understand how to be that for you. But that doesn't mean I'm not all in, okay? That doesn't mean I'm not committed to you, to us.”

"Really?" he whispered, his voice small and uncertain. "You're not just curious, or experimenting, or trying to figure yourself out with me as your guinea pig?"

"No," I said fiercely, my heart clenching at the thought. "No, baby, never. I would never use you like that. I may not be the perfect Daddy right out of the gate. But I know that I want to try. For us."

Clark let out a shaky breath, his eyes shining with a mix of relief and wonder. "Okay, that's more than enough for me, Brody.”

“I like you so much, Clark.”

“You like me?” He said with a gasp.

I chuckled. “Wasn’t that obvious?”

"I guess. I like you too."

"Hey," I said softly. "How did you first get into age play?" I asked, my voice low and gentle.

"It's hard to say, exactly," he said slowly, his brow furrowing as he searched for the words. "I think I always knew, on some level. When I was a kid, I used to imagine that I had this whole other life, this secret world where I could be small and safe and taken care of, where I didn't have to be big or brave or responsible all the time. But as I got older, I started to realize that those feelings and needs weren't going away. I started to feel ashamed of them, started to think that there must be something wrong with me.”

He gave me a small, shaky smile. "It wasn't easy," he admitted. "Especially when I started dating. Most of my boyfriends complained that I wouldn't open up to them, wouldn't let them in all the way."

"I'm so proud of you," I said fiercely. "For not giving up and keeping your heart open, even when it would’ve been so easy to just shut down and lock everyone out."

"I wanted to, sometimes," he whispered, his gaze dropping to the ground. "Wanted to just accept that I was always going to be alone, that no one would ever really understand me, or love me, for all of who I was."

He then told me about Liam, the boyfriend who had found his pacifier in his dorm room and mocked him mercilessly for it, who had called him a baby in a tone dripping with disgust and derision.

"It was like all my worst fears come to life," Clark said quietly, his gaze distant and pained. "Everything I had always been afraid of, everything I had tried so hard to keep buried and locked away. it was all just confirmed, in that one awful moment."

"God, Clark," I whispered. "That's the cruelest thing someone could do to a person they claimed to care about."

His grip tightened on my hand. "Yeah," he agreed, his voice small and far away. "And it made me so scared, you know? So terrified of ever letting anyone else see that part of me, of risking that kind of rejection and humiliation again."

I leaned in close. “I swear to you. I will never make you feel like you have to hide, like you can't be your full, authentic self with me.”

What I wouldn't give to see Clark in his Little headspace, all soft and sweet and trusting, his guard down and his heart open wide. To be the one who gave him that sense of safety, that feeling of being cherished and loved.

---