Page 11 of Lance & Clayton

Soon he was sitting cross-legged, inspecting each toy in his hand one by one and then giving them to me to hold. Boys were overprotective of their toys but him giving them to me meant he trusted me enough to keep them safe. By the time the box was empty, his smile had grown the brightest I’d ever seen.

I watched him play with his favorite ones while I sat next to him. Seeing my boy so happy meant I was happy too. Knowing he was right before Daddy’s eyes meant he was as safe as he could ever be. I had meant when I promised to protect and keep him safe at all times. It was a big promise to make, but I refused to see sadness or tears in his eyes going forward. Isn’t that what every Daddy wanted for his boy anyway?

"Daddy," he said when he was done playing with the sailboat. "Will you please read to me?"

"How could I say no to that sweet face?" I said, standing up and walking over to the bookshelf, picking out a few books that I guessed he'd like before returning to him.

He crawled over to me as I lay the books before him. Taking a blue binky off the table, I pressed it against his lips as he intently stared at the books. As he vigorously began sucking on it, he looked at me helplessly. The reason I had given him the option was to see which choices he could make and which ones he needed Daddy to make. As it was beginning to turn out, he needed me to make at least some of the playtime related decisions.

"How about we read the book about the puppy who couldn't make any friends?" I said, picking it up and opening the book.

He popped the binky. "Oh no! That's so sad. Does he make friends by the end of the book, Daddy?"

"Well," I said as he climbed into my lap and rested his head against my chest and his hands around my waist. "We'll have to read on to find out, won't we?"

He looked tense as the book turned sadder and sadder, until the second half where the puppy begins to make friends. By the time I turned to the last page, he was wiggling in my lap with joy.

"All's well that ends well." I closed the book and showed him the back cover. The puppy was surrounded by all his new animal friends he made throughout the book.

"Doesn't the puppy look like you, bright eyes?" I asked.

He giggled and shook his head, handing me the binky. "I'm a boy and boys don't look like puppies, Daddy."

"Well," I said, putting a finger to his ear. "It's got ears and so do you. It's got big eyes and so do you. And most importantly, it looks cute just like my boy."

"Am I really cute, Daddy?" He pushed his lips out in a pout, lowered his chin, and looked up at me with big eyes.

"Of course." I smiled and tapped his nose. "The cutest boy ever. You're being so good, sweetheart. Do you want to cuddle together and watch a cartoon movie before lunch? Sunday mornings are for Daddy and boy to laze off together."

Soon he was back into my arms and I was carrying him downstairs. I sat onto the couch, putting him down onto my lap and switching the TV on. We cuddled up as he rubbed his cheek against my shirt. I put on a movie about dragons and he watched it wide-eyed. I quit watching the movie halfway through and instead stared at the joy on my boy's face, for it was far more entertaining.

"Daddy," he said when the film ended, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. "You didn't even watch the movie. The ending was so cool but you missed it all."

"What can I say?" I put a hand onto his tummy and rubbed it when it rumbled. "I like watching my boy be happy. It gives me such joy."

His cheeks turned red and before he could look away, I leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Now who's ready for some tasty lunch? You're lucky your Daddy's a chef. How about some pasta with red pesto? I'll get your new coloring book and you can crayon in the kitchen while Daddy cooks."

He truly loved dinosaurs and there was no doubt about it. When I handed him the coloring book as he sat on the kitchen floor, instead of crayoning the various animals in the book, he drew a flying dinosaur, pterodactyl instead. Then he proceeded to fill it with colors.

When lunch we ready, I had to know if he preferred being fed. Instead of handing the plate of pasta, I put it before me and forked some before blowing it to cool it down. I began feeding him and from the joy on his face, it was clear that he preferred to be fed.

After lunch, he looked at the clock on the wall and stuck his lower lip out as we sat on the couch. "I had such a lovely time with you, Daddy. But I'm afraid it's time for me to go home."

I took his hand and turned to him, looking him in the eyes. "You know, I wish we could just stay here in the woods forever, just you and me, far away from responsibilities. I'm gonna miss you. I've been walking around with a hole in my chest all my life, and I didn't even know I had it until I met you. You're the void in my life that I needed to fill, sweetheart, and I'm glad I finally met you."

"Oh, Daddy," he said before I kissed him on the lips, pulling him in closer and holding him in a gentle embrace.

When I broke the kiss, I said, "I know what you want to say. I wish we could stay here together longer too, and I wish we could see each other every single day for the rest of our lives."

We just sat there in silence, staring at each other for minutes and not saying a single word. We looked into each other's eyes and we knew what we both craved from the bottom of our hearts, to be with each other for the rest of our lives. When it was finally time for him to go, the sadness in his eyes returned, the same sadness which I saw when I first met him at the club, the sadness whose cause was his parents' disapproval. It was the sadness from which I'd promised to protect him from. If only I knew how.

Chapter 7: Clayton

Spending time with my new Daddy was the best thing to do in the whole world. I had learned to be content with being a Little while locked up in my room. I had always assumed that I'd be ridiculed for my preferences, but having a Daddy for the first time felt so much better. I didn't have to feed myself, nor did I have to make hard choices such as which storybook to read. Everything was done for me and all I had to do was be myself.

It was hard to believe that Lance hadn't been a Daddy before. He was such a natural. There was no doubt in my mind that he was born to be a Daddy. Him being so good at it made sense since his friend, John was a Daddy too.

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