Page 62 of Shattered Illusion

My panties flood with warmth, a massive juxtaposition to the feel of his icy flesh.

These men are going to leave me panting in a huge puddle of goo, and there’s no denying I’ll need to take care of myself when I get back to the academy. I won’t be able to sleep with all these feelings simmering in my veins.

Part of me still can’t seem to understand how he is okay with this or how Luka—my freaking soulmate—was okay with another man kissing me. But I won’t question it. If they say they’re okay with this, then I’ll have to go with the flow. And just hope and pray they don’t change their mind later on when things get real.

Because there’s no way something like this will last in the long run. It’s not plausible to maintain a relationship with two men. And part of me feels like my soulmate will come out on top each and every damn time. In no way is something like that fair to Axel. He deserves to find someone for him. Someone who doesn’t have crushes or something more with someone else.

But just the thought of him with someone else immediately douses my arousal like I’ve been dipped and held down in a bucket of ice water.

Dammit. I can’t dwell it on, or I’ll ruin the rest of the night.

For now, though, I’ll put it in the back of my mind to dissect another time. It’s not like anything is official between any of us. Yeah, Luka is my soulmate, but he could always find me lacking and reject me.

“Hey." My head snaps up to find Axel staring down at me with concern. “Where’d you go just now? You look upset.” He reaches out and brushes his thumb between my eyebrows, soothing away the frown I didn’t even know I had.

“Nowhere. I’m here.” He raises a brow, calling me on the lie, but wisely doesn’t comment on it.

“So,cor meum, what shall we do now?” He gazes up and down the sidewalk, lit by the illuminated orbs floating in the sky.

“I don’t know. Maybe we can just…walk?” I shoot him a hopeful look.

In answer, he takes my hand and tucks it in the crook of his elbow and then sweeps the other hand out in front of us. “Lead the way,cor meum. I’ll follow you anywhere.”

Swoon.

The door to my dorm room looms in the distance, and each step toward it has me dragging my feet, not wanting this seemingly perfect night to end. Axel has been nothing but a perfect gentleman since he took over for Luka. And much to my surprise, he hasn’t asked me questions or commented on my ghastly state.

While we went on our walk, he pointed out some small landmarks, things I wouldn’t have thought twice about or evenconsidered asking about. It’s really been fascinating to hear how he recounts things and seeing the world through his eyes.

When we arrived back at the academy, I half-expected the stupid rock bird to be waiting like he was the last time I was off the grounds, but it was blissfully quiet all around. There was a moment where I was sad he wasn’t there, but I quickly got over it when Axel opened my car door and held out his hand for me to take.

We stop right outside the door, and Axel steps back, tucking his hands in his pockets as I fumble for the key to my room. To say I’m flustered is an understatement. It’s like the entire world is holding its breath to see what will happen next. Will I invite him in? Will he ask if he can?

My hands shake, and I almost drop the key three times before Axel molds himself to my back, reaching around to steady my movements. I suck in a sharp breath at the feel of his body against mine. It’s everything I never knew I wanted. Fuck. These men are killing me. I feel like I’m about to combust.

With some finesse, the key finally inserts into the lock, a click echoes the hallway, and I have to remind myself to breathe as he steps back, putting distance between us. Distance I don’t want. It felt way too damn good to have him flush against me.

“So I guess this is goodnight,” he murmurs quietly behind me.

I spin around, leaning back against the door as I contemplate what I want. I could easily invite him in and see where the night goes. But am I ready for that? Would it be better to talk to Luka about it first? Fuck. This is why I don’t know if whatever this is will work. I shouldn’t have to ask someone if it’s okay to dothingswith another. Everything should come naturally, but all I’m capable of doing right now is overthinking it.

As much as I want to invite him inside and do deplorable things to him, having to debate it in my head is telling enoughthat I’m not ready. One day, I might be. But just not tonight. Axel isn’t my soulmate, and I don’t want to do anything that may cause strife between me and the other half of my soul.

Because as I see it, I only have one. Not two, even though a certain professor seems to think so.

“Cor meum.” Axel’s voice drags me painfully out of my head. He steps forward, cool hands clasping my face. “I would never do anything to pressure you. It’s okay. And I’m not going anywhere. No matter how long it takes.”

I have to blink back the tears gathering in my eyes. Dammit. I’m such a freaking crybaby for sweet words. Maybe it’s because no one has ever said them to me except for my parents. And now not one but two amazing men have been filling my head with sweetness.

“I’m just…” His thumb covers my lips, stopping my words.

“You don’t have to explain it. I had an amazing night, and I’m glad I was able to join you. I’ve missed you so damn much while I’ve been working. But I’m hoping that maybe you’ll let me take you out on a date soon. A real date. Let me wine you and dine you.”

A watery giggle is all I can muster before he leans down, brushing those cool lips against my warm ones. It’s not enough. Nowhere near enough. My hands find their way into his long blond locks, tangling my fingers in the strands as I pull him closer.

I may not be ready for anything that big, but there’s no way I could end the night without a kiss from my vampire.

A hiss escapes his lips when I tug a little too hard, but I swallow down the sound, keeping it for my own. Axel’s kiss turns downright dangerous as he nips my lip with his fang, making me whimper, and then he soothes over the sting with his tongue. Our sounds mingle together in the hallway, creating a beautiful symphony of how we make each other feel.

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