Page 130 of Rat

“But you didn’t, neither of you did. I found out when I read that newspaper. It was like someone had cut out my heart. I couldn’t… I still can’t…” He shook his head and struggled against Sebastian’s arms. “Let me go.”

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispered. “I didn’t want to keep that from you.”

“But you did!”

“I didn’t think you’d come back to the prison; I didn’t think I’d see you again. But you did and told me how you’ve got no one, you’re on your own, and it’s not true. I was going to tell you everything that night, but then you asked for a kiss, and I couldn’t resist.”

“You—you played me? The whole time you were playing me?”

“Yes, but I’m not now. I swear it. I won’t mess with your head or your heart again, and if you never want to see me again, or hear from me, I’ll understand. I’ll vanish if that’s what you want.”

Rory frowned. “I thought I’d be begging for your forgiveness today. Telling you that I loved you, but I understood why you had to kill me.”

“Kill you?” Morris mumbled. “What the hell is he talking about?”

Sebastian’s arms were iron around him. “He thought I was going to strangle him.”

Morris gasped. “Sebastian?”

“I know,” Sebastian snapped. “It’s a fucking huge mess, and it was me that caused it, and I’m sorr—”

“But Pauly,” Rory interrupted. “You denied what he said in the prison?”

“He was outing you in front of everyone. I knew you’d hate for Ollie and Captain to find out like that, so I provoked him.”

Rory stopped fighting and relaxed in Sebastian’s arms. His knees buckled, and he relied on Sebastian to keep him upright. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It was easier when I thought you were going to kill me.”

“I’ll never kill you, and I’ll never hurt you again. I want to help, Rory. Let me help. Please. Because you need it. I know you do.”

“The farm…the barrels?”

“I’ll explain later,” Sebastian murmured. “For now, you need to sit. You need to process.”

Rory nodded. He was incapable of doing anything else, and it was only due to Sebastian’s arms he hadn’t fallen forward and landed in the pebbles.

“I’ll see you later, Morris,” Sebastian mumbled.

She went to walk away but stopped and turned back to Rory. “There’s something else…”

Rory closed his eyes. “I don’t think I can handle any more.”

“You didn’t fail.”

A bitter snort caught Rory by surprise. “I can confidently say I failed at being an undercover officer.”

Morris shook her head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what?”

“Those police entrance exams, you didn’t fail any of them.”

“Yeah, I did, three times, Hamish—”

“Marked you down repeatedly. He failed you. You’re not the first person he’s done it to. He likes people to feel like they owe him. So he can use them. You’re not the first person he’s done this to, but I promise you, Rory, you will be the last.”

“I passed.”

Morris nodded. “Yeah…with ease, Rory. With ease.”

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