Page 19 of Two for Joy

Holly gave him a sympathetic smile. “No. You’ve got your walls up, trying to scare me, push me away, but I’m not going anywhere.”

“If that barrier wasn’t there, I’d strangle you to death, right here, right now.”

Paul huffed. “Good luck with your hands like that.”

Romeo glanced back. “Then I’d strangle the two of you.”

“I’d bust open your head before you even moved.”

Fred cleared his throat, a warning to Paul to calm down. Romeo snorted, then turned back to Holly.

“You’re getting defensive, so you threaten.” Holly said, like she solved a puzzle. “You try to drive me away, but I’m not going anywhere. You’re not alone.”

“I only agree to these visits because boredom drives me crazy. Everything I’ve told you about myself has been a lie.”

Holly smiled softly, and Romeo gritted his teeth. He was tensing up, testing the strength of his cuffs. His heart had sped up, and air whistled in and out of his nose.

It was the third time in Romeo’s life he’d gotten angry. Not at Holly as such, but himself, his lies had created this, and anything he said wouldn’t be believed, would only be added to the issues he’d made up. The game he’d played with her had back-fired, just like it had with Chad.

“See, there are emotions, but you repress them. You spent your whole life repressing them. You dehumanize your victims by using numbers, so you don’t feel guilt. You’re in denial over what you did. You know that if you connect with your victims on a personal level, on a human one, the remorse will destroy you. That’s why I think they do it.”

“Who?”

“Killers. That’s why when they feel the net closing in, or they kill until they’re satisfied, they end up committing suicide because they know they wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt of what they did.”

“I can’t speak for all of them, but that’s not true for me.”

“It is.”

Romeo wanted to argue, to scream and shout that she was wrong, but he knew it would get him nowhere. She’d made her own assumptions, and he’d been feeding them for months for entertainment. He sagged into his chair and stopped trying to break free of the cuffs. It didn’t matter what she believed, he knew the truth, locked away in his messed-up head. He killed because he felt the need to do it from an early age. The monster grew in his mind as he got older.

Killing felt good to him, it feltright.

“Looks like you’ve already got your ending then. I’m in denial…”

“Yes, I think you are.”

“Then you won’t need to visit me.”

Holly pressed back in her chair, her lips bobbing open and closed. “I still need to visit you.”

“Why?”

“I feel like we’ve got a good relationship.”

“Relationship?”

Holly shuffled. “I mean a patient psychologist relationship.”

“You’re a journalist.”

“That’s one part of me, I’m here to help you, too.”

“Help me to do what?”

“With time, help you connect with what you did. You’ll open up to me. I want to help you, Romeo, because I feel like no one ever has. I want you to trust me.”

“Why would you want that?”