Page 119 of Two for Joy

“What?”

“The urges, desires, compulsions of a detective, of being a good guy. How can they go away? How can you put aside who I am?”

“You’re the exception.”

“I’m Chad’s exception so the detective turns a blind eye.”

“It’s strange when you talk like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m two different people.”

“That’s how you think of me, isn’t it?”

“Kind of.”

“I’m the monster and part of me wants to … kill,” Romeo said slowly, waiting for Chad to react. He didn’t even blink, and Romeo smiled, before continuing. “And Romeo who wants to keep you alive.”

“And I’m the detective, part of me wants to detain you, and Chad who can’t—no, won’t live without you.”

“We’re all broken pieces, jagged, sharp, uneven, but somehow the four of us fit together.”

“Jagged, sharp, uneven, you missed out smelly.”

Romeo narrowed his eyes. “Is that you trying to be funny again?”

“I’m speaking the truth. I’ve got clothes, food, water, painkillers. I didn’t know what you needed.”

“Just you.”

Romeo smiled, then leaned into kiss him, but Chad avoided his mouth, and instead turned, tugging on Romeo’s hand. “In here.”

He let Chad lead him into the bathroom and glanced at the rucksack Chad had bought with him. “And toothpaste, shower gel, razor, deodorant—

“Are you saying you don’t want me like this?”

Chad gave him a coy smile. “I thought you’d appreciate it. It can’t have been easy sleeping outside the hospital.”

Romeo shrugged. “I wanted to be close. I wanted you to know I hadn’t abandoned you.”

“Thank you.”

Romeo nodded, then tugged open Chad’s rucksack. The first thing he saw was a toothbrush, and a tube of toothpaste, and he grabbed both with eagerness, then rushed to the sink. He moaned as he brushed, eyes spinning in their sockets. Once wasn’t enough. He scrubbed his teeth and tongue until each time he breathed, he felt the minty freshness in his nostrils and throat. The mint was so fierce his eyes watered, and his nose twitched.

“Feel good?”

“Yeah. Especially when I know you’ll let me kiss you now.”

“Not quite.”

Romeo did a double take when he caught himself in the mirror. “Whoa…”

His stylish stubble had grown. His hair was a few inches longer than he preferred it. His cheek looked sunken, and his eyelid hung looser, and the scar was deeply etched into his skin. He looked awful, and Chad standing beside him, with his clear skin, his fresh haircut, and his clean white shirt, mocked him.

“Now who’s the handsome one?”

Chad stopped laying out the toiletries on the side. “You’re still handsome.”

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